First Annual Mommy Scouts Awards

I wrote a post at the beginning of the year called Mommy Scouts. The concept has stuck with me throughout the year and has helped me laugh during moments I might not have normally been able to – reminding myself that it’s all worth it because I’m earning my merit badges.

For a refresher, here was my idea:

We get to earn Merit Badges as we experience facets or overcome obstacles of Mommyhood. Because admit it - we're all proud of what we've overcome in this crazy job, and we like wearing them like honors on our sleeves anyway, so we might as well have the pretty stitched badges.

Maybe we could sew them on our diaper bags.

Or sew them over the baby puke spots on our shirts.

So, to celebrate a year well done, I am officially announcing the

First Annual Mommy Scouts Awards!!!

Let’s start with the childbearing awards.

Lydia and Amanda - I had my fourth child when my oldest was under six Merit Badge.

Julie – I had my FIFTH child when my oldest was under six Merit Badge.

Natalie – I’m pregnant with number six, all still under six Merit Badge.

Lindsay – I had my second child before my first was 15 months old Merit Badge.

I salute these women for earning badges that I will most likely never be brave enough to earn.

Here are the Health-Related Merit Badge Awards:

Shelly M – My kid broke their femur and I had to carry them around in a full leg cast for months and right after he healed, my husband broke his back Merit Badge.

…I seriously don’t know how she survived that.

Ashley – I survived my entire pregnancy with a horrible sinus infection that couldn’t be treated aggressively enough because I was pregnant Merit Badge.

…AND she sang several full length concerts with Red Mountain WHILE sick!

Amy Wade – I was a mother to my child AND my husband due to his extreme injury prone-ness Merit Badge.

I feel like I owe your husband an apology for all of the times I laughed at his hysterical injuries through the year.

Now for the travel Merit Badge Awards:

Christie and Hannah – I moved across the country with two children Merit Badge. I don’t ever want to move again AT ALL – let alone out of state. *shivers*

This is the Day – I took a multi-week road trip without my husband, while still-in-the-nauseous-stage-of-pregnant, AND with a toddler in tow Merit Badge.

Barkley – I flew 12 hours with my one year old and survived the resulting toddler jet lag Merit Badge.

And finally, the ultimate travel merit badge goes to:

Christen – I traveled to see my in-laws three states away for 10 days with a toddler and newborn in tow, WHILE my husband was gone on a fishing trip, AND while in the middle of moving Merit Badge.Seriously, I would have just died at the “my husband is gone 10 days” part – let alone the rest.

Next Category: There’s Alternatives to Violence Merit Badges:

Marie – I witnessed other children being very mean to my child and managed to NOT strangle other said children Merit Badge.

If you ever find yourself in this situation again, just call me – I’ll take care of them so you don’t have to lose your merit badge.

Blue Violet – I didn’t torture and then slowly kill my daughter’s boyfriend when he broke her heart Merit Badge.

Nikki – I discovered a strategy – Mommy Money - to make it through the get-to-school-in-a-hurry mornings without ANY whining Merit Badge.

And now for the just-plain-uncategorizable Merit Badges:

Lianne - I ripped my pants on my own birthday and went around all day celebrating said birthday with said ripped pants and my kids never told me – but I still love them anyway Merit Badge.

My favorite part of this story was that you didn’t even realize they were ripped … until you looked at the pictures. That is just awesome.

Mama Hen – I’m such a cool Mom that I let all four of my children help me make homemade jelly Merit Badge.

Rachel K – I faithfully supported my son through his whole football season – of continually losing. Merit Badge.

Jennifer – I starred in the Church Christmas play while all of my kids were sick Merit Badge.

Trina – I survived my child’s fear-of-her-room-and-insisting-on-sleeping-with-me Phase Merit Badge

Rachel Robinson – I went to college while being a Mommy AND made the President’s List Merit Badge.

Carol - I survived all year using Europeanly small laundry appliances with FIVE KIDS Merit Badge

My Mom – I willingly kept all of my Grandchildren repeatedly, as well as up to seven other children ALL AT ONCE Merit Badge.

Greta – I’ve been stalked by that freaky kid at the pool because I was pregnant. Again and Again. Merit Badge.

And, because I’m writing the rules, I have to give one to myself – I earned it fair and square: I survived a poo + public restroom + no wet wipes or diapers incident Merit Badge.

And that concludes the 2009 First Annual Mommy Scouts Merit Badges Awards!!

To the Awardees: Feel free to copy the top badge and/or your Award badge and use it as you please (although all badges are really from Boy Scouts of America or Girl Scouts of America, so I probably don't have the right to tell you that - oops!).

To those I didn’t award - please understand - If I’ve left you out, don’t feel bad – I’m throwing this post together as fast as I can between holiday events. However, I officially award each one of the rest of you Mommies one Mommy Scout Merit Badge of any kind. What did you earn yours for this year?

Just A Litter Fun…

A few weeks ago, I purchased our long-anticipated Church Cookbook:

On the way home from church, I thumbed through, looking at various recipes.

And then I arrived at a recipe so unique that it was powerful enough to change my life.

KITTY LITTER CAKE.

(Okay, maybe not change my life, but certainly add a good measure of joy to it.)

Not only was it an awesomely funny idea, but the instructions were you’re-going-to-need-a-litter-box hilariously-specific. It had such jewels as…

Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points.

Bury the rolls “decoratively” in the cake mixture.

Chris and I immediately knew that it was in our destiny to make this creation, especially with our affinity for making "unique" food creations.

We also knew the perfect opportunity to try out this delectable recipe: We had our second Christmas with Chris’ Family last night because his Aunt Kitty and Uncle Leo were coming in town, at which we were also celebrating Kitty’s birthday.

Besides the name resemblance, Kitty is quite a cat lover, and currently has three. Our other dinner guests, Chris’ parents, are also quite familiar with the litter box.

Plus, you have to get creative when giving a gift to someone who appreciates the art of toenail clippings, ya know?

And so it began.

We washed Oreo’s litter box…

Okay. I promise it was new.

I made a Spice Cake:

and a White Cake.

Pudding…

White Oreos…

Crushed with my Ninja.

And Tootsie Rolls, of course.

The cakes got crumbled and mixed with some of the cookies…

And then placed in the serving platter.

I then enlisted my resident poo expert, Chris, to shape the …Tootsie Turds.

He made them all different (they're like snowflakes, you know),
and carefully coated them and buried them…

And then we sprinkled the now-food colored reserve of Oreos over the top for deodorizing crystals.

Chris made the remaining Tootsie Turds, including the characteristic hanger-on that finally comes off as the cat jumps out of the litter box...

We added the scoop, and it was ready for it’s debut.

We told no one of our invention beforehand, so when Chris came and laid out the newspaper and sprinkled the escaped litter pieces, everyone was a bit confused.

And then, our masterpiece was served.

Kitty went through the 5 Stages of Being Served a Kitty Litter Cake:

1. Disbelief.

2. Hysteria.

3. Photography.
4. Disgust at the thought of actually ingesting said product.
5. Bravery to eat the first Birthday Turd (now well coated with clumping litter).

We tried to get Ali to eat one…
But she quickly pulled back, brushed off her hands, and announced “I don’t want one.”

I wasn’t sure how the actual eating of this dessert would go, but surprisingly, it wasn’t horrible.

But of course, we saved the leftovers, side-turd still in tact and peeking out, just in case any of you want to come over and try some littery goodness.