Your Official Invite to My Reality Show.

I’ve always been a technological early adopter. From texting before it had a name, to joining Twitter in 2008 and scrolling through every user in Birmingham then writing my first tweet: “I don’t think Birmingham is ready for Twitter just yet.”

(And we weren’t. But I came back year later, and we were.)

But in all of my technological experimentation, I’ve never been as quickly convinced that something would be world-changing as I am about a new free app/social network that released last week: Periscope – an app that provides an easy platform for interactive live-streaming.

(Note: This is not a requested/paid review of any sort. I am just this excited about it.)

Some of you are saying “but Periscope is not what you said its name was last week…”

You are correct. The week before last, I discovered Meerkat, a similar app, and even encouraged you to join me, which some of you did. I knew Periscope was coming, and that the Twitter-Owned app was going to have the advantage, since a) they’re Twitter-owned and b) Twitter wasn’t playing nice with Meerkat.

And sure enough, everyone that was early adopting Meerkat with me jumped ship to Periscope. I did too, and although I still prefer the look and a lot of the features of Meerkat, there were some nice features in Periscope, too. And, they are owned by Twitter. So they will most likely win this battle.

So I’m sorry, Most Loyal Readers Who Followed Me to Meerkat – for now, I’m moving to Periscope. As much as I’d like to support the underdog, I must be realistic.

Now. For those of you who are completely lost.

Why is this so great?

Because it allows a whole new level of interactivity that we, The Internet Population, have never experienced before. We get to share real, live moments.

So, instead of looking at my still, quiet photos of our visit to The Botanical Gardens that show my toddler when he’s being bribed to smile,

Botanical Gardens 2

And instead of not having any idea that Ali had just burped ferociously loud right before this picture,


You can experience it all with us, uncut and unedited – and get to hear and see Noah’s angry attitude and Ali’s burp, type messages to us, and we can answer you verbally. And then we’ll basically be BFF.


Yes. This is a Meerkat screenshot from my pre-Periscope days. But Periscope works basically the same way.

Perhaps this sounds like the greatest waste of time in the entire universe – and maybe it is. This leap forward in social sharing has definitely made me revisit the always-open discourse in my mind of how much is too much, and when should I just live my life and leave the internet out of it. But at this point, the kids find it fantastically fun to do once a day or so (they like interacting with people who talk to them), and it’s a great way to get to know you all better.

I have some fun ideas for the future – such as taking you all jeans shopping with me, telling live stories (I actually already tried this yesterday with mixed and somewhat awkward results, but I REALLY want to get better at verbal storytelling so you get to watch my struggle in the meantime), sharing my sunsetting adventures with you, letting you see what our school day looks like, and whatever other adventures happen to come our way.

And I’d love to see your streams, too!

Plus, as Jimmy Fallon on Periscope has shown us, you can have deep, stimulating conversation with the internet through this app.

Jimmy Fallon Periscope

So clearly it’s going to be a hit.

If you’re willing to join me on this little experiment, here’s what you need to know:

1. You’ll need a Twitter account to sign into the app, but you don’t really have to use it again after that.

2. Download the app called “Periscope” – make sure you get the one created by Twitter – there’s another one out there for spying on people and I would never encourage spying on people. (It’s only available on iPhones right now – sorry, Android users.)


3. Allowing Push Notifications is pretty much a must, since it’s a live stream (unless you stay really current on your Twitter feed.) However, live streams are available to watch on Periscope for 24 hours after filming (Scroll down on the first tab to “Recent” to see the day-old streams of anyone that you’re following.) So if you miss it, it’ll still be there for a little while.

4. Follow me – my name is ObjectivityRach – just like on Twitter and Instagram.

One last disclaimer. I could be completely wrong and watching me do my life might be the most boring endeavor ever construed. And I might be so awkward that you’re all like “we’ve been reading her blog because…why?!”

If so, forgive me and we can just go back to knowing each other as words on a screen. Promise?

This Week’s Headlines

Newspaper Headline

This week’s household headlines:

“’Hopping around is so much fun – when you’re naked’, Agree Toddler Boys Everywhere.”

“Negligent Mother Makes Children Wait Until She Finishes Her Lunch Before Fixing Them Their Third Lunch. Authorities Launch Investigation.”

“Toddler Places Open Mouth on Meat Counter at Publix Three Times – Then Acts Shocked At Mother’s Screams About Botulism.”

“Breaking: Ice Machines Are Not For Swinging On, Kicking, Or Sticking One’s Head Into.”

“You Won’t Believe What’s in My Underwear, Mommy.”

“CDC Study Recommends: To Prevent Spread of Uncomfortable Car Rides, All Poop Should be Deposited in Toilets.”

“Sister Wives Not Looking Like Such A Bad Idea, Agree Exhausted Mothers.”

“‘Hey Mommy Can You Pick Up The Very Important Thing I Dropped?’ ‘NO I’M DRIVING’ – Why Does This Conversation Happen On Every Car Ride? Mothers Need To Know.”

“Young Boy Hits Head on the Toilet Seat…While Sitting on the Toilet Seat. Proclaimed To Be The Most Talented Child Alive.”

“’If you can’t obey Mommy, you can’t have nice things.’, Local Mother Teaches.”

“Studies Show that Grated Cheese Is More Tasty When Poured on a Plate and Eaten Like Cat Food. Even If That Cheese Was Supposed to Go Into Dinner That Night.”

Toddler’s Own Meme Gets Used by Random Guy to Pick Up Random Girl. Toddler Hopes It Worked Out For Him.”

Noah Memed

“This Toddler Got Mad at His Mother. What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind!”

“’One more minute until bedtime’ Met With Cheers, then ‘Okay it’s bedtime’ Met With Jeers. Every Time.”

“Surveys Show That Children Must Lean Their Head Back to Get Shampoo Rinsed During Each Bath, Yet Children are Curiously Still Surprised By This During Each Bath.”

“Children Trash House With Play-Doh While Their Mother is at the Store Buying…More Play-Doh. Mother Regrets Actions.”


“Children’s Gummy Vitamins Found Only Acceptable When Favorite Color AND Shape Line Up. If Not, Proclaimed To Be Terrible.”

“Physical Therapy Clinics Found To Be An Ideal Location to Trip Old People, Report One Panel of Expert Children.”

What were the headlines in your house this week?

On The Issue of Being a Morning Person.


God has blessed me with children who appreciate the fine art of sleeping.

Ali napped until she was five, Noah’s still napping at four, and they both wake up well after the 7 o’clock hour (and have been known to sleep until 9:30.)

As such, it is only right and honorable to homeschool my children.

After all, if God gives you two talents to invest and you bury them in the dirt of waking up at 6am to get to school, how do you think you’re going to justify that when He asks after His investment?

No. I will treasure those talents and sleep late so that I can enjoy life more because of it.

However, Noah has been going to preschool this year. Just three days a week, with a 9 o’clock start time – it seemed like a reasonable burden for those talents to bear. And it was – I only had to wake him up (after 8am) every now and then.

Until the time change. And since that time change, I’ve had to drag my moody little talent out of bed every morning (after 8am), kicking and screaming and clawing at his covers.

As an attempt to document this phase of life and lighten his excessively grumpy demeanor, I took a snippet of video every morning for six days.

Each morning, I asked one simple thing of him: “Okay, Noah. Say ‘I’m not a morning person.’”

But, alas. Noah is four. And he is an extraordinarily opinionated and contrary four – especially first thing in the morning when he’s been unceremoniously awakened approximately 1.35 hours before he wished.

So here were the results, after six days:



I clearly need to get back to properly investing that talent.