Mommy Scouts

I think that we should have Mommy Scouts.

You know, where we get to earn Merit Badges as we experience facets or overcome obstacles of Mommyhood. Because admit it – we’re all proud of what we’ve overcome in this crazy job, and we like wearing them like honors on our sleeves anyway, so we might as well have the pretty stitched badges.

Maybe we could sew them on our diaper bags.

Or sew them over the baby puke spots on our shirts.

When you first have a baby, you start out as a Brownie. Which is quite aptly named, as brownies are crucial in making it through those first sleepless weeks.

Then, as you earn your Mommy Merit Badges, you get to graduate to Mommy Scouts.

You finally achieve greatness and get to be an Eagle Scout when you are a Grandmother.

Some of the merit badges that I personally have earned would include:

I survived selling our house and moving with a baby Merit Badge:

My toddler ate a ladybug and lived through it Merit Badge:

I made it through an Emergency Room visit (or two) with my toddler in tow:

I let my toddler fingerpaint and I actually enjoyed it Merit Badge:


I make fresh veggie juice for my toddler and have conned her into liking it taught her to like it Merit Badge:


And yes, I know that I earned this one while I was still pregnant (would that be Daisy Scouts?), but I claim it anyway!! I survived a squirrel eating through the wall of my shower and the ceiling of my bedroom Merit Badge:
Some of the badges my friends have earned:

Jennifer actually earned the I successfully performed the Heimlich maneuver on my baby Merit Badge:

Deidre earned the I adopted internationally Merit Badge:

Ashley just earned her My Toddler Got a Weeklong Stomach Virus Merit Badge:
I really hope I never get that one.

My friend Barkley is currently working toward getting her Let him cry it out so that he will sleep through the night Merit Badge:
I think all of us Mommies shiver in remembrance of earning that one.

Some other Merit Badges to be earned:

I taught my child to read and write without losing my mind Merit Badge:
I taught my child to say “Please” and “Thank You” Merit Badge:

My child is the one in the nursery that every one always talks about – and not in a good way – Merit Badge:


I survived my child being in the band Merit Badge:


Homeschooling Merit Badge:


I lost all my baby weight and fit back into my little black dress Merit Badge:


I can understand what my toddler is saying Merit Badge:
Which, by the way, you get another one of these if you ever get to the point of understanding what your teenager is saying.

Surviving a Blended Family Merit Badge:

I have a drama queen daughter (or son, as Scouts are always politically correct) Merit Badge:

Tent Camping with kids Merit Badge (which only applies in a one room tent):

I took my child to big church Merit Badge:


I endured the glares of all other passengers and took a baby on a plane Merit Badge:


I survived organized sports Merit Badge:

(You get a golden one if you survived organized sports with more than one child at a time.)

And one no one looks forward to getting,

I didn’t kill my daughter’s first boyfriend Merit Badge:So how about you? What Merit Badges have you earned? What Merit Badges would you add to Mommy Scouts?

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1
    Barkley says:

    I LOVE this post! I am definitely laughing through my tears now! I am just going to envision MY Merit Badge when I start to weaken. There are several I can’t wait to earn, but (for now anyway) I will be most proud of the one I am currently working to earn. This Mommy job is no joke ;-) Thanks for this one, Rach! And I can’t wait for Toddler Tips to come out!

  2. 2
    Mama Hen says:

    Rachel, Had to break my bloggy silence bc this is hilarious! When I get back on I’m going to link everyone to this post. My favorite is “the one in the nursery that everyone is talking about ,but not in a good way.” You should add “I took my sons to Scout meetings every Monday night for 18 years badge and I still don’t know how to set up a tent” badge. Scouts are big-time here at my house!

  3. 3
    Jennifer says:

    Hilarious!! I’m quite proud of my Heimlich maneuver badge! I’ve also earned the selling a house and moving with a baby badge and took my child to big church badge, and if there was a gold star to put on that patch, then I would get that too ’cause I’ve brought both boys to big church before.

    There should also be a “I have been doused by every possible bodily fluid by my child” merit badge. Or is that just part of the Mother Scouts initiation?

  4. 4
    Greta says:

    How creative!
    I’d have the selling our house and moving with a baby badge, the ER visit with my toddler in tow badge, the Heimlich maneuver on my baby badge, the cry it out so badge, the Tent Camping with kids badge, the I took my child to big church Badge, and the baby on a plane badge. Whew!

  5. 5
    AmyG says:

    What cute post!

    How about the: “I survived an ER trip, because my child stuck something up their nose” badge?

    And next school year, I’ll be able to proudly wear the Homeschooling badge. ;o)

  6. 6
    MoziEsmé says:

    Ooo – give me that plane badge, please! I’m working on understanding what my toddler is saying… And there needs to be one for letting go as they grow up and gain their independence…

  7. 7
    Brooke says:

    I should have the “I survived my 3 week old having surgery” badge. And the “Too many ER trips to count” badge. Another good one is the “I survived traveling with to 8 different states before my son was one” badge. That last one was a rough one to earn. I don’t suggest trying. That’s a great post. How did you go those badges??

  8. 8
    Brooke says:

    Oops. I meant to put “I survived traveling to 8 different states before my son was one” badge. That was bothering me!

  9. 9
    Ashley S. says:

    Love this post. Totally made me laugh!

  10. 10
    Rachel says:

    Oh you are all having awesome ideas!! I sense a sequel at some point.

    Brooke – they are all actual Boy or Girl Scout badges that I stole. :)

  11. 11
    Leanna says:

    What a cute post. I loved the badges.

  12. 12
    Gina says:

    This is great. Granted, I’m not a mommy yet, but I think that’s a great idea. You should start the trend by putting the merit badges on your diaper bag. :) :)

  13. 13
    Meredith says:

    Unconventional to ask a question of another person on someone else’s blog, but regardless, when did Jennifer preform the Heimlich maneuver?

  14. 14
    Lindsay says:

    Mmhh. I would definitely have the “cry it out” badge and an “I survived my child being in the hospital for a month” badge. Other than that, I’m good so far. I guess that means I have many more badge earning opportunities ahead of me! Oh, and I guess I deserve the “surviving a blended family” badge as the child – not the parent thankfully!

  15. 15
    Rachel says:

    Meredith – I’m not sure of the details, but I know it was on Amy Beth.

    Lindsay – you’re working towards your Having Two Babies in under 15 months Merit Badge. THAT’S something. :)

  16. 16
    Lydia says:

    Well this is my first blog comment and this is a truly worthy blog to receive my comment. If you know of a way to actually get these badges I will be the first mommy ot sew them on my diaper bag. I can’t remember all but I am pretty sure I get the cry it out badge, the sell and move badge with an extra star b/c I did it with two kids, the plane with two toddlers badge, the tent camping with a baby badge, the pop up camper camping with two kids and one on the way badge, the I can understand my toddler badge(times two) the I lost all my baby weight badge(although not this last baby’s weight), and I have a drama queen badge-again times two. Here are a few more- I have earned the stuck in the airport until midnight after a day without naps with two kids and no husband badge, the I travelled 400 miles one way alone with two toddlers in a minivan badge, the I did step aerobics up until the week before my third baby was born badge, the “You will not speak to me like that young lady” badge, the call me for health related advice badge and the I survived Disney World with three kids 5 and under badge!!! This is a really great idea and would totally improve the attitude of moms everywhere. Talk about tangible affirmation!

  17. 17
    Such The Spot says:

    Oh my gosh – I’m all over this idea! Something tells me my sash would be overflowing…

  18. 18
    Debbie says:

    I get the:
    I survived selling our house and moving with a baby Merit Badge:

    I made it through an Emergency Room visit (or two) with my toddler in tow (one was on Mother’s Day. My Toddler had fallen and bit his lip through from inside to outside… ooooohhhh)

    I let my toddler fingerpaint and I actually enjoyed it Merit Badge:

    Let him cry it out so that he will sleep through the night Merit Badge (I have 4 of these!! except two were girl babies)

    I taught my child to read and write without losing my mind Merit Badge:

    I taught my child to say “Please” and “Thank You” Merit Badge:

    Homeschooling Merit Badge:

    I lost all my baby weight and fit back into my little black dress Merit Badge: ( I did this once after the first child but have failed since then. I am now working on loosing the baby weight again… but this time my baby is 12 LOL!!!)

    I can understand what my toddler is saying Merit Badge:Which, by the way, you get another one of these if you ever get to the point of understanding what your teenager is saying. (I get both of these)

    I have a drama queen daughter Merit Badge:

    Tent Camping with kids Merit Badge (which only applies in a one room tent) {we took our Baby daughter and tried to sleep on Assateague Island, Maryland in the summer and were devoured by the mosquitoes!! and we left her pacifier in the car and were not willing to fight the mosquitoes to go get it. She finally screamed herself to sleep and then we decided to go home we were so miserable. I ran for the car with her and hubbie grabbed the tent by the top and pulled and left the tent spiked there.

    I took my child to big church Merit Badge:(not only that but all 4 of our children go to adult Sunday School class with us and only two of them are adults)

    I endured the glares of all other passengers and took a baby on a plane Merit Badge:

    I would love to add the:

    I homeschooled a Child from K-12 and We Both Survived Badge

    We Have Moved 7 Times and Lost a Lot of Things Badge

    My Husband Has Changed Jobs at Least 8 Times and I Survived Badge

    My Husband Injured Himself at Work and was Home All Day Every Day for 3 1/2 Years and I Put Up With Him Badge

    I could think up a couple more I guess but that is enough for now.

    I loved this post.

    I am going to “borrow” a couple of the pictures and do a post on my blog and send my readers here.

  19. 19
    Debbie says:

    sorry my comment was so long… I didn’t even notice until after I pushes post.

    Debbie

  20. 20
    Heather of the EO says:

    I love it. Hilarious, Rachel. thank you for playing along and sharing your post with me for my blogiversary (or whatever it's called) :)

  21. 21
    Fortier Business Solutions says:

    Can our regular "snacks" be wine and brownies?

  22. 22
    Jane F says:

    For those of us with twins, maybe we could get a "survived screaming in stero" badge. Triplets could be "survived screaming in surround sound!"

  23. 23

    Oh holy crap, I love this. LOVE this. We need to get on this, seriously. Someone with graphics experience needs to come with a few, like “survival by coffee” and “survived grocery shopping on payday” and stuff. LOL

  24. 24
    Nurse Elizabeth says:

    Survived an across county flight with a baby and 3 year old alone.

  25. 25
    Nurse Elizabeth says:

    Loving your blog BTW!

    • 25.1
      Rachel says:

      Thanks so much!! It was fun to hang out the other night, even though I was a ZOMBIE for days (and half of that night as well!)

  26. 26

    Fabulous! I love your reinterpretation of the significance of the badge images. I have some on my Girl Scout sash that people always ask about because some things are just hard to depict and therefore represented by pictures that are easily misinterpreted.

    As an alternative to the cry-it-out badge, I’d like a badge for staying with my kid every night until he fell asleep for 5 years. My partner and I earned it as a troop.

    Also, I’d like a badge for being a Girl Scout leader while pregnant and while mothering a baby/toddler/preschooler AND working outside the home. I did it until he was 4 years old. In retrospect, I was insane. But I do have some happy memories–and a great picture of my 4-year-old wearing the badge sash he made for himself because he was jealous of the Girl Scouts.

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