It has taken me 28 months to conquer this art.
Okay, maybe not that long. After all, she didn’t enough hair to curl up or spazz out until about 12 months.
So it has taken me 16 months.
But I believe that I have FINALLY discovered how to “fix” Ali’s hair.
No longer will she have stringy haired days!
No longer will her hair look like a staticy mess!
No longer will the decency of her curls depend on how much she sweated during the night!
No longer will I cross my fingers for a humid day to tame her hair from a mega-fro to a Shirley Temple!
AND there will be no more Easter Pictures that look like she stuck her finger in an electrical outlet!
AND it is with no “product”, no bath, and finished in under three minutes (which is the highly recognized standard toddler grooming patience threshold, or STGPT).
(and YES, those pictures WERE taken on the same day!!)
So I know you’re on the edge of your seats now. Without further ado, the 5 miraculous steps:
Step 1: Wait until toddler is awake enough to be minimally jovial about being groomed. This may take a substantial amount of “Read books in Mommy and Daddy’s bed” time:
Sometime during this mood-waiting-period, go ahead and change her out of jammies for minimum hair-messing-uppage.
Step 2: Brush toddler’s hair,
Until it resembles a mangy stray dog (or their stuffed friend DoggieBear. Same difference.):(that step took me a while to figure out. I was afraid that I would only worsen it to brush it, but in reality it helps with the eventual softness of the curls)
Step 4: Using fingers, quickly yet gently twist toddler’s hair in a spiral motion. (Scrunching doesn’t work, since there isn’t enough length to scrunch.)
Step 5: Be sure to let toddler play with water bottle, therefore soaking the rest of herself, during the above twisting step. Distraction is key in order to attain maximum stillness from said toddler.
(Maximum stillness, of course, equals the approximate stillness that a baby monkey has when hopped up on caffeine.)
(Be sure and remember that you let said toddler play with water bottle, so you don’t have a wet-toddler-mystery to solve later in the morning.)
Move over, Nick Arrojo!! Here I come!!!