Okay. I am going to totally step on some fashion toes here. So please, accept the fact that I am certainly no style guru, that this is just my opinion, and, well, just forgive me from the front end.

I have been a bit bewildered by style lately.

Particularly, the style of teenagers.

Because the thing is, the “in” stuff for teenagers looks like stuff my Grandmother would have had in the 80’s.

Let’s start with Toms.

I know, I know. They are giving back and charitable. But can’t we be charitable AND cute?

For those who aren’t familiar with Toms, they are a huge shoe craze with teenagers. They are these strangely unstable looking shoes that look like Keds (the ones with no laces), except rolled in toilet paper:

And pre-dirtied, at that. The above picture is the product picture from the Toms website – and they already look like someone has been trouncing around in the dust in them.

But they don’t leave it at just “used” white as your only color choice.

But I wish they did.

You can get them in horrid-old-man-slippers plaid:
Or the ever-classy Liberace-esque-two-tone metallic sparkle:

And I am nearly positive my Grandmother had this pair in the 80’s – she used to wear them to the Shriner’s banquets:
(Because I remember finding a very similar pair in her closet and being in awe of the brilliant light-creating properties of them.)

(I bet these shoes are good for the environment too, being that they work like a sun and all.)

So the Toms just completely befuddle me. Hate me for saying it, but I find them quite atrociously ugly.

And then, there’s (and here’s where I feel the REAL toe-stepping-on coming now) Vera Bradley.

I will admit that some of the fabrics are cute, and I don’t have a problem with them in general. But what I completely DON’T get is how these are the most ragingly popular accessory for TEENAGERS to have.

They’re quilted, for goodness’ sake!!!

Shouldn’t teenagers be carrying crazy bags like this?
Yes, I know that’s ugly. But at least it’s a young-looking-ugly.

But when I see a teenager carrying a purse that looks like this,
I can’t help but looking behind her to find her great-grandmother that she is kindly helping by carrying her purse for her.

I MEAN – that just screams “OLD!!”

And this one – it should be called “bought at the flea market”:But no. It’s NINETY SEVEN DOLLARS!!!!

And teenagers are BEGGING their parents for three figures of cashola so that they can carry these to their high schools!!

As I said, I am in no way against a grown woman carrying a Vera Bradley purse. If I weren’t so opposed to quilting (just a personal preference), I would not be opposed to carrying this one:

or this one:
But – a teenager??? QUILTED?!?!?!?

As if our kids aren’t aging quickly enough these days.

But then again, maybe aging straight from Tween to GEEZER isn’t such a bad idea. . .

Yes, geezer sounds much better than teenager. I’m taking Ali out to buy her Tiny Toms TOMORROW.
In Oops-I-Spilt-My-Fingerpaints Print.

15 thoughts on “Today’s Hot Teenage Trend: Geezer.

  1. I am in complete agreement with everything you wrote. You certainly didn’t step on my toes!! This is some hilarious stuff.

  2. oh man those toms are ugly. and i have vera bradley purses and have for years but i don’t choose the old ladyish prints like the ones you showed.

  3. The teenagers around here don’t wear those Toms. I’ve actually never seen or heard of them. The purses however, are everywhere.

  4. lol to funny, i guess i’m glad i dont have a teen like that!!! :) She’s into the layered look though, tank tops on tank tops all underneath a shirt or sweater and sweatshirts in 90 degrees!!! its enough to make me overheat!

  5. My friend has some Toms. They are this greenish color.
    I personallly wanted a Vera Bradley purse but, I decided on a Kavu instead!!!

  6. not that you stepped on my toes, because you didn’t at all. my fashion issue with some teens, and i see them everyday when i’m picking my teen up from school, are the trampy outfits on the girls. some of the skirts i saw at the winter ball? short is too kind a word for the length. and don’t get me started on halloween costumes, not only for teens, but for younger children, too. i guess i would rather they look “old” than look like professional call girls. or not so professional call girls. i wish they would realize the message they are sending…i know what my son and his friends think of these girls, and it’s not very polite. sorry if i stepped on anyone’s toes as i was not trying to do so.

  7. I now have no toes, and they were not very long to begin with you know. I have the keds in the old man slipper shoe and the Vera Bradlely in the last picture (have you been taking pics of my purse). And I really like the little Toms with the paint splattered on them (maybe I’ll buy them for Ali). If it makes you –feel– I mean think better of me I totally hate 80’s music. All of this said, you know my age also and I am ecletic. LYB

  8. Oh my! Toms are so ugly, but I think they have some kind of cause.

    I like vera bradley, but alas, I’m no teenager.

    The only good thing is that between Toms and VB, maybe they aren’t dressing like skanks.

  9. I've never heard of Toms, but I know for sure that in the 90's my grandmother had a sparkly gold & silver pair that looked just like the ones in your pictures! I do have a vera bradley travel bag & wallet that I like, and I did have a couple of their purses in high school and looking back they were definitely the granny prints :)

  10. Wow – those are interesting! You are definitely more fashion savy than I am b/c I have never heard of or seen these. The plaid ones totally look like my great grandpa’s old slippers!!

  11. OH, MY…I feel very, very OLD! I actually like the Tom’s shoes. They are very comfortable…and there is room in them for your toes to actually lay flat! I have a pair of the black ones. For those of us…’of a certain age’…it can be hard to find a shoe that is actually comfortable enough to walk in all day. And I refuse to wear the SAS old lady shoe! So, for me…for now…this is a good solution. Wouldn’t go for the plaid ones though!

    And, my toes were not stepped on, but at 55…I’ll just call myself a ‘mature’ woman instead of ‘geezer’! LOL

    Love your blog and your sense of humor!

    BTW…I have a complete set of the VB luggage…but only for travel. Cant stand using their bags as a purse! Isn’t it great how we all differ in the things we like and dislike? It would be a very boring world if we were all alike!

  12. Wow Rach. I have accessories in that red Vera print. But wallet and makeup bags only. I didn’t care for the purse styles myself. I also have a black Vera pattern in luggage too.
    Toms are pretty cool for the teens and college students, at least in our area. I want some, but just haven’t bought an yet. And they do have a thing where hey donate a pair of shoes for each pair bought. So in essence you’re buying 2 pairs, and they deliver one to a poor child. It’s a great charity and personally I think it’s really great that this generation gets behnd social justice cause.
    Even if they are trendy!
    But don’t worry, no toes stepped on here! ;)

  13. ok, toms are not ugly in my opinion, they are for a good cause. every pair someone buys someone in need gets a pair…. also, the white-ish shoes at the top are supposed to be that color they're canvas!

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