Fall Fashion Report, For The (Drastically) Shorter Consumer.

There’s a lack of toddler fashion analysis in the media today. You can’t find it in Elle. You can’t find it in Marie Claire. You can’t even find it in Cosmo. So Ali and I have recognized this reporting gap and have decided to fill it.

• Just because you have less stature than an umbrella doesn’t mean you can’t be a style icon. Don’t sell yourself short!

• The funkier, the better. There is nothing wrong with mixing flowers and stripes. To really turn up the funk, be sure to wear your Hello Kitty boots. On the wrong feet.
• Another great way to showcase your style is to choose your glasses based on the highlights of your shirt. Not the main color, mind you – that’d be too matchy-matchy.
• Corduroy Stripes are also a great way to show your style. A great tip to remember: if a pair of pants would look like clown pants on an adult, they’re perfect for a toddler.
  
• However, clown pants or not, an outfit may feel a little bland to a two year old. So there’s nothing wrong with adding accessories.

  And an extra skirt.

  And a Greek dancing skirt.

  In fact, when in doubt, just wear your entire toddler wardrobe at once.

• Fall colors are perfect for a fall wardrobe, especially paired with Mommy’s high-school-era favorite style of shoes. Oh, the good old days of wearing Bostons in High School…
• It’s not ALWAYS necessary to be dressed up. Even in your best friend comes over dressed in a pretty pretty party dress, if you are at your own house, it is fully permissible to stay in your jammies all day.

  As long as you pair it with some classy accessories:

• And finally, for extra dressy occasions, it never hurts to borrow clothes from said best friend. After all, the dress is always pinker on the other side…
  
• Oh – and Wings are TOTALLY “in” this year for the most formal of occasions.
  

And, that’s a wrap.

To the fashion editors of Elle, Marie Claire, and Cosmo who are reading this post and absolutely DYING to pick it up for your publication: I am willing to talk. But you should know that my models are quite the divas and demand generous royalties.