You Might…

You might… eat out too much if you have the following conversation with your child…

(Me, tasting Ali’s sucker): “Mmmm…it tastes like apple.”

Ali: “Yes, it tastes like an Applebee.”

You might… be boosting your kid’s ego too often if you have the following conversation with your child…

Me, during Hurricane Ida’s leftover rain: “It’s wet out there.”

Ali: “It IS wet out there. You’re so smart!!!”

You might…be using too many terms of endearment with your child when she asks you, “Can you take my boots off, Princess?”

You might…need to watch out for your child’s future video game consumption when, after slicing fruits with a samurai sword on the Wii, she announces excitedly, “I’m ready to slice people now!!!” You might also want to keep all knives out of reach.

You might…need to work on your toddler’s egocentricity if, when you are asking your husband if he is okay, and she pipes up and says, “I’m NOT okay! I’m sick! I’m very sick! See my sick face?”

You might…need to finally clarify anatomical issues when your daughter repeatedly rubs your chest like two genies are going to pop out while continuously and suspiciously questioning you, “Are there babies in there?? There ARE babies in there. Are you sure there aren’t babies in there???”

You might… be a bad wife if you enjoy a it bit too much when your husband gets a little turned around on the way to someone’s house, then, upon arrival, says “let’s not mention that when we go inside”, and then as soon as the hosts answer the door, your toddler immediately informs them, “Daddy missed.”

You might…have just heard no truer words when your toddler tells you “We can talk right now, but we’ll be quiet in just a minute. In 20 years.”