The Diet Bearability Report: Two Months.

On Saturday, Chris and I celebrated two months of our Lose It diet plan with a combined weight loss of 39.6 pounds.

(The total being 39.6 completely killed me, seeing as how 40.0 in 2 months would have been such a beautifully neat and clean number.  I suggested cutting off my arm – or maybe a finger at a time – and re-weighing to help us meet this goal, but Chris declined.)

Not that I’m competitive or anything, but I’m currently accounting for 19.2 pounds of that (19.6 if he’d have let me cut off a few fingers), and he’s at 20.4 – which means I’m WAY ahead of him percentage-wise (which in an unfortunate twist of fate, means that I am currently, the Biggest L… Los… I just can’t say my least favorite word in the English language, even for celebratory purposes.)

But at any rate, we decided we’d share a couple of things that have helped us along the way.

First: Chocolate is a requirement of any successful diet plan.

For the first three weeks of our diet, I wanted to get a good kick-start in the right direction, so I didn’t allow myself ANY sugar.

This caused a great gnashing of emotional teeth bubbling up from the depths of my soul.

Much like when one of the Biggest L***r contestants gets unnecessarily emotional and Chris yells at the TV to “Eat some CARBS, buddy!!!”, I’m pretty sure he said those same words to me several times – except in a nicer, more subtle tone.

(For fear of my emotional hand grenade blowing up on him, I’m sure.)

So after I realized that the lack of chocolate was detrimentally affecting my family and mental stability, I reintroduced chocolate into my diet (in calorie-controlled increments, of course).

Because really, no one should have to parent without chocolate.

No one.

We usually stick to a couple of Lindt truffles, Ghirardelli squares, or other similiarly portioned sugar+cocoa-filled lovelies for our after-the-kids-are-in-bed dietary happy pill.

BUT.

My good friend Nikki introduced us to the most amazing chocolate we’d ever tasted – homemade Oreo Truffles – at our small group, and I have thought of nothing else since.

They were so delectable, so amazing, so stupendous, that on the night of our introduction to them, another small group member asked Chris what they were, and Chris pulled out his infamous small group analogy habit and told her in a far-away, over-dramatized voice, “They’re the John MacArthur of desserts in a world of Joel Osteens.” *

And so they immediately were renamed to John MacArthurs.

* I realize that this analogy is either hilarious, horribly offensive, or makes no sense whatsoever depending on your Famous Preacher Preferences.  It would also help if I explained our church’s connections with John MacArthur, but that would take too long, and this is a diet post, not a theology post.  So just go with it.

So, to celebrate our two month marker, I decided to make us our very own batch of John MacArthurs.

Three Ingredients go into a batch of Johnny Macs: 1 pack of Oreo Cookies, 1 block of Cream Cheese, and 8 ounces of Semi-Sweet Baking Chocolate.

After much confusion from the online recipes, I called Nikki to find out: do you or do you not take the cream out of the Oreos before grinding them to a pulp?

You do not – they just magically disappear when ground:

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(My Ninja pureed the whole bag of Oreos in approximately 75 seconds.  Awesome.)

After the Oreo Emulsification, you mix in the cream cheese, then form into very unappetizing-looking balls:

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(51 balls, to be exact.  Adding to our infuriating numerical unevenness.)

After chilling, you coat the balls of ick with melted baking chocolate, creating a gigantic tray of what looks like Miracle Max’s Miracle Pills to cure Mostly Dead People:

MiracleMax

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Then you sprinkle a bit of reserved Oreo crumbs over the top, and enjoy the amazing John MacArthur:

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Surprisingly enough, the calories in these (which yes, I calculated) are perfect for our evening chocolate therapy.

(If you want to know that calorie count, I will tell you.  But I will not spoil it here in public view – I am a firm believer in not opening the Pandora’s Box of Calories for anyone else – I feel this sin is equitable with describing in great detail the last episode of someone’s favorite show before they have a chance to watch it.)

(Although, doing Lose It, you can accumulate a fountain of memorized odd caloric info.  Such as the fact that a chocolate covered espresso bean has 7 calories. That example shouldn’t drive anyone to despair.)

So.  Chocolate is a great dieting tool.

Our second helpful item has been having the opportunity for true accuracy in weight measurement.

I always assumed that I was one of those people that fluctuated 2 – 4 pounds a day, because that’s who my scale told me I was.

In fact, it told me I was the kind of freak that fluctuated 2-4 pounds between stepping on said scale.

(That was most likely because I had a bad habit of stepping on my scale at every possible angle, including on my head, to get it to say that I weighed the absolute least amount possible.)

And although I appreciated the fact that I could trick my scale fairly easily, the day that it fluctuated ten whole pounds was the end of our symbiotic relationship.

ScaleSo I researched scales on Amazon, and found that there was one in particular, an Eatsmart scale, that had amazing reviews.  People actually said that you could step on it as many times as you wanted and it wouldn’t waver by even .2 pounds – a fact I found that impossible to believe, especially since it was half the price of my now-outcast scale.

Chris agreed that we needed a new scale, but he also suggested that I needed to use this opportunity to give up my scale-tricking ways.  After all, I probably led our old scale down the road of the Temptation of Bad Accuracy to begin with.

So I agreed, knowing that I would have a very painful transition to get used to my “normal” weight – especially since I’d been deceiving myself for years.

And yes, our new scale told me how much I REALLY weighed.

(Which should tell you how very much I love it – to still adore it after THAT.)

The reviews were right – it never wavers in it’s firm grasp of accuracy, which proves that I actually do NOT fluctuate multiple pounds a day – it moves up and down at a much slower, more reasonable pace, greatly increasing our geeky confidence in our actual weight lost.

So that’s it – a combination of Lose It, chocolate, and accuracy.  With a plan like ours, how could we fail?

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1
    Jessica says:

    I especially like the chocolate part of the plan. :)
    Congratulations to you both for sticking to it!

  2. 2
    Stephanie says:

    I need a new scale, desperately. I might just get a spin dial one because I can really trick those!

  3. 3
    Jennifer says:

    I like MacArthur, so that is hilarious to me!! I got that recipe a while back, so I’ll have to refile it uner the M’s :)
    And I wouldn’t do anything without chocolate. Anything. My husband keeps me a good stash of good chocolate (’cause I’m to cheap to buy it for myself) to be sure of that.

  4. 4
    Sarah R in Wisconsin says:

    Those truffles look amazing! I agree that deprivation does not work, especially in the long-term. I also thought I was the only one who knew how to trick my scale! I now know I weigh less in the morning, approximately 30 minutes after my shower. If I take a shower later in the day, I CANNOT weigh myself for fear of a higher weight! When did I get like this???

    Congratulations to you and Chris for your achievement!

    • 4.1
      Rachel says:

      Interesting! I always weigh right before my shower, because after my shower, my hair is horribly heavy from all of the water.

  5. 5
    MamaHen says:

    Good for you two! Great work!

    When I have made this Oreo Truffles I coat them in white choclate. Oh.my.stinkin.goodness they are good

  6. 6
    Shiree says:

    I, too, believe that no one should parent without chocolate! I’m going to have to make those truffles now because this momma needs chocolate!

  7. 7
    Rachel says:

    Wow, those look pretty good! I have no idea who John McAurthur is or the other guy. :)

    Maybe I should buy that scale b/c I fluctuate several pounds a day even without trying to trick the scale. I try to always stand the same way but it still fluctuates badly.

    Congratulations to both of you on the weight loss! As I’m finding out…it’s not so easy anymore. When I wanted to lose weight in high school or college I just cut a few calories and the pounds flew off. Two kids later those pounds seem to be a lot better at hanging on!

    • 7.1
      Rachel says:

      I think the reason dieting has actually worked for me is that I’m nursing. It’s exercise without any effort! Without nursing, I’d be burning 0 calories.

  8. 8
    Eleanorjane says:

    Well done you guys! And I totally agree about deprivation – it’s much better to have just a bit of what you like. I can do without chocolate mostly but I’m still having a small glass of wine with dinner some days… I’ve lost 1.4 kg in the last 2 weeks (maybe about 4 pounds? can’t be bothered looking it up…)

    Had the weekend off as we went away but back into it today!

    • 8.1
      Rachel says:

      Awesome! I’m glad pounds are bigger numbers than kg – it’s easier to get excited about 4 pounds than 1.4 kg – maybe you should switch? ;)

      • Eleanorjane says:

        Ooh, just looked it up, actually it’s 3 pounds.

        I like not knowing about pounds ‘cos it makes The Biggest Loser much more fun to watch. I don’t have to think about how their weight relates to mine and the *ridiculous* amount of weight they lose every week.

  9. 9
    Andrea says:

    Hey Rachel,

    Congratulations on the weight loss! You are rocking it, girl! I’m also on a weight loss crusade, and I totally need to know the calorie count of the John MacArthurs (don’t actually know the man, but do know Osteen… so I got and whole heartedly agreed with the drift). I see delicious Oreo balls in my future… (and J MacAs sound so much more fancy than “Oreo balls,” so perhaps I will adopt the name.)

    Thanks in advance!
    Andrea (frequent reader and VERY infrequent commenter)

  10. 10
    Nikki says:

    Yikes! I came after the “BUT.” Luckily, I came after it with Johnny Macs in hand. So glad you love them, glad you made them for yourself, glad you shared, and still going to make more soon (which I will still share with you if you’re still interested). Kudos to you and Chris on the A-MAZING results. I will be getting that app. It is first on the list. I’ll get with you to find out what else I “need.” I also might need that scale. Our scale is soooo inaccurate. I know exactly when to weigh myself and when not to weigh. I always fluctuate 2-4 lbs. a day. Boo hiss! Mmm…chocolate. Now I’m thinking about them. Mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmm!

  11. 11
    Sarah Lockhart says:

    Congrats on the weight loss! I agree — deprivation does not work. I’ve tried it many times, and, when I cave in and eat something I want, I end up feeling like I’ve failed and might as well just blow off the diet. I’m loving Lose It because I like counting the calories and knowing at the end of the day that I can enjoy a treat guilt free because I have budgeted for it (same way I feel when I budget money). I liked the John MacArthur reference too – I’m a big fan of his. I definitely would like to know the calorie count of the Johnny Macs. :)

  12. 12
    Christen says:

    First of it, it’s amazing that you both have lost almost 20 lbs each in only 2 months! And those oreo truffles were out of this world, I won’t mind if Nikki made them every Thursday night, well, I guess that wouldn’t be fair to her, maybe we could each take turns making them every week!

    • 12.1
      Rachel says:

      Chris felt all this angst about me writing about her treats and not yours. He is a HUGE Christen’s-treats-at-small-group fan. He said he might send you flowers with a note that says “I love your Rice Krispy Nests” ;)

  13. 13
    Marty says:

    “Because really, no one should have to parent without chocolate.”

    THAT is why I <3 love <3 you and your blog :-)

  14. 14
    Danielle says:

    I’m a little behind the times, but I’d like to have the calorie count of those delicious looking J Macs… I started using Lose It a couple weeks ago, but have been slacking some. I think I’ll try the contest thing with my hubby, if we both have something to look forward to if we meet our goal, it will be easier to stick with it! Thanks, love your blog!

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