Zulily. Really??

The Zulily iPhone App is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever installed on my phone.

I was a latecomer to the wonderful world of Zulily, mainly because I was too lazy to actually go to their website.  But somehow I managed to stumble across the iPhone app, and here I am.  A complete Zulily addict.

“Oh! What a fabulous dress!! And only $12.99?  It will be a perfect Spring dress for Ali!”

Click.

“Ali would LOVE that tutu!! And only $10.99!!”

Click.

And then I realize that $12.99 a few times over really adds up.  And that one click ordering is a little scary.

But their stuff is so cute…..

Granted, they have a sketchily high selection of smock

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But…

(and you know how hard this is hard for me to admit)

even some of their smock is…

(gulp)

really cute.

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Now I would still never buy it, but if I were to ever lose my mind and trash my convictions, something like that would be on my shopping list.

Or this.

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Ack!! What AM I DOING???

CURSE YOU, Zulily!!

Blessedly, every time I’ve almost stabbed my eyes out for being seduced into actually liking something smocked, I’d run into a garment that was slightly less than alluring.

Like for instance, club wear for children.

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Or, perhaps, clothing that is shouting a message that I… just maybe… don’t want my daughter to be adopting as her own.

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(However, if you need a present for a Mom on Toddlers and Tiaras, I have found the one for you!)

And then there’s the uncomfortably worded boy’s clothes.

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Awkward.

But my eyes have never stretched wider and my eyeballs have never ventured further outside of their sockets than when I stumbled across this treasure.

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WHOOOOA…. what was that???

I had to see it closer.

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Well saddle up a horse and call me Daisy.

I hadn’t gotten the news that the wardrobe from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas had become acceptable infant wear!!

And this was no fluke sewing machine accident – they offered a Saloon full of choices.

Pink and white hearts, perhaps.

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Or for the more Goth babe, you can always go Vampire Black.

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Or perhaps you’re looking for the perfect Infant April Fool’s outfit. 

Or for your husband to instantaneously divorce you.

In either case, I would definitely recommend that you go with Leopard Print.

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Of course, diapers are easier to change if you go for the camisole option, so do be sure to consider it.

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And then, as if all of that wasn’t skin-crawlingly repugnant enough, there’s always the Infant Bridal Collection.

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For the love of all that is good, somebody please bring back the smock.

A Follow-Up post can be found here.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1
    Shelly says:

    Holy guacamole! What on earth is that hideous lacy crap? Who buys that stuff??!!

    I haven’t gotten the Zulily app and I probably won’t. It’s bad enough I get the emails, spend half an hour looking at all the good stuff (lace notwithstanding), add it to my cart, then close the window and never buy. It’s better that way.

  2. 2
    Tonya says:

    Totally agree…am addicted to the idea of Zulily ..but have only bought a couple of things. It’s a dangerous app for me to have. I agree about the smock…truth is..had I seen that owl dress chances arei would have bought it. Sigh…hope your Christmas was fabulous!

  3. 3
    Kitty Engle says:

    Being the old woman of your followers I so believe Ali should have the dress with owls. That is one of the cutest dresses I have seen. I really think she should have this dress. Those lacy things are way too off the wall. I would like to know who dresses their child in those clothes.

  4. 4
    Stephy_B says:

    The moms that dress their little girls in that lacy junk are the ones who in 10-15 years are asking themselves WHY they have rebellious and boy-crazy daughters who are always getting into trouble. And in the nearer future, whose daughters (and sons apparently) appear on Toddlers and Tiaras. Ick.

  5. 5
    Ashley says:

    Oh yes…Zulily. I am a recent recovering addict. This post has inspired me to write a post from my experience to help save others from future Zulily rehab. I’ll let ya know when it’s up. In the meantime I shall leave you with this bit of advice: Before clicking “complete order” ask yourself, “Does Noah/Ali NEED this…” Yes it’s cute, fun, adorable, they-would-look-SO-cute-in-this — but — do they really NEED it? That question has helped me battle the Zulily demons.

    P.S. Did I mention I have a recent obsession with owls? Cute, little, colorful, whimsical owls? Dang you Zulily!!!!!!!!!!

  6. 6

    Those ruffly Stack O’ Garter Belt outfits are all over pinterest and etsy right now! It’s even more disturbing when you see an actual child dressed in one.

    Exhibit A

    I’m glad I have a boy, is all I have to say to that.

  7. 7
    MamaHen says:

    I’ll just go ahead and say it.

    Tacky. Tacky. Tacky.

    Really, moms, please please think before you do this to your child.

    Now, I am all for the little bathing suits with the ruffles on the behind, totally okay for the three and under crowd, but the whole outfit. No way!

  8. 8
    Shiree says:

    I could totally see one of the kids from The Real Housewives of New Jersey sporting one of those. Poor kids. not that I watch that show or anything…Ok. I’m semi addicted. I can’t get over the fact that #1 people live like that, and #2 that anyone would consider them real housewives when most of the population doesn’t have 40 grand to plop down for a birthday or christening. Wow! How’s that for a tangent?! I agree about those last two smock dresses. I am a little tempted.

  9. 9
    Natalie says:

    Actually, those are really popular in the photography world. I personally have never been a big fan, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t going for “Whorehouse” look but more of a “Awww look at all that LACE all over that baby girl!!!”
    I had never thought of it those terms until you pointed it out. Hmmmm, guess it’s perspective?
    Like I said, not a fan myself, but definitely never crossed my mind that anyone was going for the hooker look. :/

    Here’s an example: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150278793739031&set=o.57043940249&type=3&theater

    What do you think? Still whore-ish? I can’t tell! I’ve been seeing them so long as “cute” that I’m a little confused now. LOL

    • 9.1
      Rachel says:

      I’m gonna step out on a limb and say that there needs to be a new fashion rule placed right behind the rule of “You shouldn’t wear sequins to someone else’s wedding”, and that would be “Babies should never be strapless”.

      I kinda get the photography aspect of it, but I also feel a little queasy from the sketchiness of how it looks. Why not a big ruffly lacy DRESS? I’d be all for that. But the ruffly catsuit is… disturbing.

  10. 10
    Misty says:

    I agree with Natalie. I actually have 4 of those rompers (NOT MINE) at my house to choose from to take Aubrie in and have pictures made in. Not “whore-ish” pictures, but cute pictures of my baby girl all lacey in front of a mirror with ribbons and pearls. MELT my HEART. LOL If it’s tacky I don’t care. <3

    • 10.1
      Rachel says:

      I really do get the lacy, frilly, photography aspect of it. But perhaps in dress form rather than romper form? However, to each his own, by all means! :)

  11. 11
    Nikki says:

    Both of my boys wore that navy plaid romper with the dogs smocked onto it for their first Christmases! Are you cringing??? Are you sighing in despair? Are you hanging your head in deep despair? Hee hee! I loved it then, and I still think it’s cute. I’ve never been on Zulily. Other than the questionable stuff and the whorey stuff, it looks cute. Love that brown polk dotted dress you pinned :) Oh, and my bro-in-law gave me his old iPod Touch, so you’re about to have to have a sit down with me to tell me all the apps that I must have.

    • 11.1
      Rachel says:

      No, I’m not doing any of that. I’m saying, “Figures”. You can’t help it if you were led astray in the area of smock.

      ;)

      I’d love to help you with your apps!! You’re gonna love it!!

  12. 12
    Nikki says:

    Both of my boys wore that navy plaid romper with the dogs smocked onto it for their first Christmases! Are you cringing??? Are you sighing in despair? Are you hanging your head in deep shame? Hee hee! I loved it then, and I still think it’s cute. I’ve never been on Zulily. Other than the questionable stuff and the whorey stuff, it looks cute. Love that brown polk dotted dress you pinned :) Oh, and my bro-in-law gave me his old iPod Touch, so you’re about to have to have a sit down with me to tell me all the apps that I must have.

  13. 13
    Beth says:
  14. 14
    Lindsey says:

    I can see how this can be done up in a sweet way (lace, ribbons, pearls, etc.), but the big question of “When is it no longer OK?” will arise. I personally think little baby bikinis are kind of cute, but I would never let my 4+ year old wear a bikini. How do I explain that is was OK then, but not once you’re older? The black one though? Ack.

    • 14.1
      Rachel says:

      I always wanted to wear a bikini when I was little. Every year, I would ask my Mom….

      Age 8: “Can I get a two piece bathing suit this year?”

      Mom: “No, you’re too young.”

      Age 9: “Can I get a two piece bathing suit this year?”

      Mom: “No, you’re too young.”

      Age 10: “Can I get a two piece bathing suit this year?”

      Mom: “No, you’re too young.”

      Age 11: “Can I get a two piece bathing suit this year?”

      Mom: “No, you’re too young.”

      Age 12: “Can I get a two piece bathing suit this year?”

      Mom: “No, you’re too old.”

      Whoa – how did that happen??? So was there some magical day in the dead of the winter of ’92 that I was the exact right age for a bikini???

      At any rate, I don’t regret it now.

  15. 15
    Jill says:

    That’s disturbing.

  16. 16
    Amy Nabors says:

    When I saw that silver Bobbie Dress my first thought was ‘oh they have adult clothes?’ and then I kept reading. Ack.

  17. 17
    Marty says:

    My children wear a LOT of hand-me-downs from a couple of (very kind and awesome) families, and each new batch always brings a small selection of “my child will be wearing that over my dead body” items. Like skimpy skimpy halter tank top things for a baby, or high heeled boots for a preschooler. Oh, and Dora. I HATE clothes plastered with Dora. With an irrational passion. Also, I’m a bit scornful of fake fur trim and fuzzy sweatshirts that look like we skinned Elmo to make them.

    I do worry though about the teenage years, remembering my own and a habit of wearing skimpy tops underneath normal tshirts to get out of the house with them. Right now I’m just hoping that if I’m happy to take the girls shopping and buy them clothes, I’ll have a little more influence over helping what they get and can help them find that line between reasonably trendy and skanky whore apparel.

    Well, that and never letting them wear a bikini ;-)

  18. 18
    Marty says:

    Oh, and glancing through the other comments, I agree 100% that babies (toddlers, children, teenagers…. quite possibly college students……..) should NOT wear strapless outfits. Also, *nobody* should wear leopard print. Ever. Under any circumstance, short of being in the jungle and needing to camouflage in to hunt a leopard.

  19. 19
    Jenica says:

    I have se

  20. 20
    Jenica says:

    I have seen those rompers on a few sites, apparently they are quite popular!! I think for picture props? But I see them and think of an old west saloon girl…..

  21. 21
    Leslie says:

    Holy inappropriateness! If I bought those things for my girls, Brad would have a heart attack. Actually, it may be a little funny to send him the pictures and tell him “what I bought for the girls.” Sometimes it is fun to get him fired up, so thanks for the entertainment!

  22. 22
    Kate Hayes says:

    OK…now that last Zulily post is even funnier after reading this one. You actually made me LOL. :) How ironic is that? And so brave of you to ‘fess up about the whole thing!

  23. 23
    Katie says:

    I feel like I have seen more of these since your post than I did before (kinda like when you buy a car and all of a sudden see them everywhere?) I can see them for dress-up and photo moments but NOT everyday wear. Which just makes me glad I have a boy =) (And kudos to you for owning up to buying one AND letting Ali wear it!)

  24. 24
    Alyssa says:

    I think the ruffles can be adorable. I always have my daughter wear sleeves and against midrift exposure. I actually consider myself overly conservative. I wouldn’t let her wear that lace at age 5 as it would look like a nighty, I think it would look different on a baby. Fat rolls etc. Actually beautiful.

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