How It Feels to be Hated By a Celebrity.

Wednesday night on Twitter, I broke my silence about this deeply painful issue when I told my friend Trina all about my shame and sorrow.  So I decided that since it was already out there, I might as well admit it here.

I’ve been blocked on Twitter by Travel Channel star Adam Richman.

Meaning that I can’t follow him, I can’t message him, and I can’t even mention his Twitter Handle in a tweet.

It’s distressing.

Humiliating.

Horrifying.

So one must ask, how did it come to this?

First, I’ll explain how I came to realize I’d been blocked, because it’s not as if Twitter sends you a weekly update of all of the people who have chosen to despise you.  These things must be found out the hard way.

Last year, I wrote a blog post called Baby V. Food.  I was pretty darn proud of our creation – it was Chris’ idea, and his ideas always turn into the best posts.

Chris and I committed fully to the post, and went to a lot of trouble to get it perfect.

We watched Man V. Food several times (which is mighty sacrificial for me, as I’m not a fan of watching other people eat to the brink of vomiting) and took copious notes, writing down all of Adam Richman’s idiosyncrasies, catchphrases, scene set-ups, and even facial expressions.  I took hundreds of photos of Noah, and I did a bang-up Photoshop job on the title, not to mention the microphones at the end.

When I went to tweet about my post, I mentioned Adam’s Twitter handle in my tweet so that he might see it – I mean surely he would appreciate such a finely crafted parody of his show, even if he couldn’t appreciate the Cute Baby Factor.  Right?

So I typed out my tweet.

New Post! Noah vies for @AdamRichman’s job in Baby V. Food! http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2011/08/baby-v-food.html

But the tweet wouldn’t send.

I tried again – no luck.

I checked my character count – it was under 140.

Odd…

So I went to Adam’s Twitter page – it showed that I wasn’t following him.  That shouldn’t cause my problem, but I clicked follow just to see what would happen.

At which time Twitter sent me this shocking note:

Adam Richman Hates Me

Adam Richman is…. BLOCKING ME???

Me.  Me.  ME?!?!?

What did I ever do to him??

I sat there, stunned and perplexed, wondering to myself how I’d managed to offend a man that could easily eat me without even unlatching his Manaconda hinged jaw.

Adam Richman and Me

And then I remembered.

A year or two before, I had tweeted a one-liner joke about him.  I don’t even remember it, but I do remember that I did not include his Twitter Handle in the joke.  I’d just said “Adam Richman”.

However, he apparently has quite the gaggle of adoring groupies who find men that regularly eat five pounds of greasy food in under thirty minutes quite hot.  These devoted ladies also have Twitter searches set up so that they can know every single time his name is mentioned in the Twitterverse.

They didn’t appreciate my joke.

They immediately started attacking me, throwing nasty tweets faster than Adam can gulp down a 96-ounce Cheddar Cheese Milkshake.  And in their TweetGrenades, they made sure to include his Twitter handle – you know, because a man loves a woman who is a Twitter Tattletale.

I didn’t respond to them, but I deleted my tweet.

Okay, I’ll admit it – I do remember the basic idea of my joke, although I’ve forgotten the punchline – a shame, because I think it was good.  The joke was something along the lines of who would be the perfect replacement for Adam Richman when he had a heart attack.

So maybe I shouldn’t joke about someone having a heart attack.  But have you SEEN the man eat???

IF YOU EAT YOURSELF TO THE FOOD SWEATS ON A REGULAR BASIS SIMPLY FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF THE TELEVISION-WATCHING MASSES, YOU CAN’T GET OFFENDED WHEN PEOPLE JOKE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

(At least that’s how I feel.)

So apparently, once all of his admirers began TweetBombing me but before I deleted it, he went back and read my tiny little tweet, and then decided I was such a despicable human being that I was worthy of being blocked.

Man V Rachel copy

When I put all of the pieces together of how this blocking came to be, I actually did feel pretty awful.  I hate hurting anyone’s feelings, even a celebrity that makes my lifetime earnings by eating a pile of cheesy fries in the shape of Mount Vesuvius.

Then I sat in a puddle of moroseness and felt sorry for myself, thinking of the thousands of blog posts and ten thousand tweets that I’ve written and wondering how many hundreds of people that I had hurt or offended and had yet to discover it.

It totally ruined my post that had brought me such joy and pride.

Since that day, every time Chris has turned on Man V. Food, instead of making my former comments of…

“Ew.  I’m eating – don’t turn that on or I’ll lose my appetite”

or

“I really don’t want to watch him distend his stomach AGAIN”,

I get quiet and sorrowful, reminded of my despicable tweet, and say meekly,

“He hates me.  I don’t like watching this show.  It reminds me of what a bad person I am.”

But after tweeting the short version of this story Wednesday night, I realized something.

Adam Richman is a big, burly, tough dude that puts himself on television eating monstrous amounts of food (or used to, anyway) and I am an infinitely-uncelebrity Mommy Blogger in Birmingham, Alabama who made one tiny 140 character joke.  A joke ten times less insulting than anything that Leno, Letterman, or Conan has ever said about Mr. Richman – and they’ve all said plenty.

But I was apparently so offensive that he had to block me over it?

Somebody’s feeling mighty sensitive.

And now I want to know: has he blocked Leno, Letterman and Conan?

Oh – and don’t forget Jimmy Fallon.

Because if he hasn’t, I’m calling foul.  I’ve been discriminated against.

MOMMY BLOGGERS ARE HUMAN, TOO!

WE DESERVE EQUALITY IN JOKE-MAKING RIGHTS!

(But please feel free to chime in and let me know that you don’t hate me.  Until you do, I’ll be in a ball over there in the corner, worrying about every word I’ve ever typed.)

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1
    Laura Gallitz says:

    I thought that having people make fun of you was part of being a celebrity – which, incidentally is why I could never be one. Honestly, I’ve never seen a full episode of that show – we are cable-free. But I do know that Noah was JUST ADORABLE in your post, which I am sure was spot-on as usual. His team of old ladies who think he’s hot or his PR folks have gone overboard. Mommy bloggers ARE people, too! And he probably wasn’t worth following anyway.

  2. 2
    Jessica says:

    I think that if you don’t want people to make jokes about you, you probably shouldn’t eat mountains of food for other people’s entertainment. Because really, isn’t that sort of a joke all on its own?

  3. 3
    Amy says:

    He needs to man up! If a celebrity can’t handle that, they don’t need to be in show business.

    And Rachel, we definitely love you!

    P.S. That show makes me want to llomit!

  4. 4
    Robin says:

    I unfortunately had the same thing happen to me with the fans of a “D”-grade movie star. I may have made a snide comment about her having bad plastic surgery (VERY bad plastic surgery) and her wolves descended on me. Fortunately, she doesn’t have that many fans and the things they were saying just proved how delusional they really were. I mean, if girlfriend can’t smile or blink and her lips put Lisa Rinna to shame, she’s had plastic surgery!

  5. 5
    Kathy Gunthorpe Ashdown says:

    BLOCKED and REPORTED! LOL (just kidding!)

  6. 6
    Shelly says:

    Oh, Adam! I think he would have totally been flattered by your Baby v. Food blog post. Too bad he missed it! :)

    • 6.1
      Rachel says:

      I dunno…. I’m kinda thinking he’s not the nicest dude on the block anymore. I don’t think he would have found me so entertaining.

      Oh well…

  7. 7
    Katie says:

    You know, some of those people don’t manage their own Twitter accounts so *HE* might not have blocked you. It could’ve been one of those fan-groupie-tattletales who was managing his account that did it. Or, a good case of fumble-fingers on the phone where he hit “block” instead of “follow” and was actually flattered and trying to follow you!

    Regardless, I love your blog and tweets! =)

    • 7.1
      Rachel says:

      Yeah, there’s definitely a good chance it wasn’t actually him. But if you’re the kind of celebrity that gives instructions to your interns to block anyone who says anything bad about you… that’s kinda worse, don’t you think?

  8. 8
    Kristy says:

    I feel the same way about Adam Richman. My fiance likes the show so I have to watch it occasionally, but neither one of us likes the part at the end where he stuffs his face with huge quantities of food. I’ve often wondered about his health myself.

    • 8.1
      Rachel says:

      From what I’ve heard, when he used to do that show, he “trained” in the off-season to make up for the taping season. But still… ick.

  9. 9
    Stef says:

    I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, but my hubs is/was a Man V. Food fan and went to one of the restaurants that Adam had been to on an episode. While the food was decent, the staff at the restaurant said that Adam was the biggest Douchey McDouchington ever. So if you are ever wishing that he would unblock you and be your friend, apparently he, or his twitter manager or whoever, is doing you a huge favor. And every time I saw him on one of his eating challenges I always said it was not right and not healthy, so your joke was just speaking the truth. And sometimes the truth hurts, even for over eating d-bags.

    • 9.1
      Rachel says:

      Ah. Yes, it does make me feel a little better.

      Isn’t it amazing how endearing people can act toward their fans on television, but yet when the cameras are off they’re totally different? I can’t imagine being okay with myself if I were like that. It is beyond my understanding…

  10. 10

    From the comments above, it doesn’t sound like Adam is the nicest person in the world, so that should take the sting out of the blockage, at least a little bit. I understand, being blocked is easy to take personally, but I’ll bet you anything it was his manager who did this, and Adam had nothing to do with it.

    This is my first time to your blog and I love it, and I can see a lot of people love it, so who cares about Adam!! Keep up your great work. I just started my blog about 3 months ago, and find your blog very inspiring. :)

    • 10.1
      Rachel says:

      Thanks so much!! I’ll definitely hop over to check out your blog. Congrats on starting one – but be careful – it’s addictive!

  11. 11
    Karen says:

    I don’t follow you on Twitter because I don’t follow anyone on Twitter (except for my brother for a week a few years ago as he drove across the country.) I can barely keep up with my email. But if I did Twitter you’d be one of the first people I’d follow. Your blog alone almost always proves to be a bright spot in my day. On bad days it can be a bit like medicine (not the kind you grimace your way through swallowing though!)

    Can you imagine how busy at attacking people making such comments his fans must be, and the poor account manager must have a bister on his thumb from repeatedly blocking accounts as I’m sure there are so many others who have made similar tweets. His behavior practically begs for it.

    • 11.1
      Rachel says:

      I DO have to wonder how busy they are. I mean, REALLY. I can’t be the meanest person on the internet. I just can’t be.

  12. 12
    Michele says:

    Oh that’s so funny! He blocked you?! I guess he has no sense of humor. Maybe the fat calories and excess have affected his funny bone. I still think you’re funny.

  13. 13

    I’m quite certain you shouldn’t feel bad over being blocked by a random stranger (celebrity or not!).

    Blocking someone over a single tweet suggests a certain level of immaturity (an adult would communicated with you directly if hurt feelings were involved)

    But I wouldn’t even assume it’s deliberate. Twitter is well known for randomly following/unfollowing/blocking people. Seems to me most don’t have time to manually manage their lists and use various apps instead. So your blocking could well be a computer glitch

  14. 14
    Chelle says:

    Seriously, Adam Richman? Seriously???? How on EARTH could you block our adorable Rachel????

    He needs to get a sense of humor. I mean…look what he DOES!

    Hugs,
    Chelle

  15. 15
    Eva says:

    awwwwww. you are just a sweet soul aren’t you? always very concerned with others? teasing is alright if you ask me. perhaps he was just jealous that you were getting more hits than he was and wanted to keep the limelight on himself? i think you’re alright. don’t let yourself feel bad.
    and i read the baby vs food post and though i haven’t seen the show (no cable) it was very funny. little noah was adorable and i’m impressed at how much he can eat. my little samuel isn’t that big of an eater – and you can tell b/c he’s so skinny and always has been!
    btw, we’re staying home from church again this week b/c he’s still got sores on his feet. we just wanted to *make sure* no one else got sick :)

  16. 16
    Lindsey says:

    Honestly, until you made a joke about him, I didn’t even know who he was. Hah! So groupie’s take note: bad press is still press.

  17. 17
    Andrew says:

    I think you’ve got what I’d call a “block-foul”. I’ll take it to the twitter umpires and see what I can do. I think he should have just flashed the yellow card instead pulled the red one.

  18. 18
    Brandi says:

    I didn’t know who he was either until you mentioned him. Had I heard about him in another context, perhaps I would’ve taken the time to check out his show. But now I’ll just go back to not knowing who he is. I think I was happier that way.

  19. 19
    stacey says:

    Not sure how I found my way here…ha! But…I was at the dollar store yesterday and Adam’s book was right between the Bible and the coloring books. I picked it up thinking about how much weight he has gained the past few years. Poor fellow…eating himself straight to the bank and then to the hospital. Anyhoo, I read the chapter about Austin because I live close to Austin and I wanted to see what resteraunts he recommended. Well, that one chapter was all pompous and foul. What a mouth on that guy! You don’t get that on his shows, but he let it all hang out in the book…not PG that is for sure. Anyway, I wasn’t impressed with his writing or his resteraunt selections so back on the shelf it went. To funny that here I am today. He is not worthy of you! :-)

    • 19.1
      Rachel says:

      Thanks so much!

      Poor Adam…at the dollar store. He should quit blocking people and maybe more people would read his stuff…

      Thanks for saying hi!

  20. 20
    Laura says:

    How did I miss this post?? HILARIOUS! I wouldn’t worry too much because he probably doesn’t even do his own twitter account. And if he does, oh well. No one is ever liked 100% of the time—of course, I assume you’ve moved past this since this was 6 mos ago ;-) But anyhow, I think you’re funny!

  21. 21
    Sue says:

    what a shame he blocked you. He missed out bigtime on Noah and baby v food – he’s adorable. I made a joke coupla days ago on twitter to him in similar vein recently.. Like you, I love the programme and thought he could take a joke but obvs led astray by happy go lucky public persona portrayed for TV . He didnt block me but insulted me publicly back which I thought hilarious however he was obvs deeply unhappy and cross about my comment and reply designed to hurt me. I was just chuffed I had a reply from him actually and am entertaining my friends with the story. Although I know I wouldve been hurt like you are if he just blocked me.. In serious note, maybe we are inadvertently touching a raw nerve and he has real health issues. Love Noah – he’s a way cooler dude !!!

    • 21.1
      Rachel says:

      As you know, I had to go dig up your insult and his response. I have heard that he is quite the jerk in person, and it looks like he’s letting that slip into his twitter feed as well. Oh well, his loss!

  22. 22
    Chris says:

    Ha. I’ve been blocked by him too. I think I made a joke directly to him about soccer. There were no nasty comments. Then I just realized I hadn’t seen a tweet from him in awhile. He blocked me! Why? I think he just has really thin skin when it comes to anything on the twitterverse.

  23. 23
    Mary says:

    I’m a recent convert to your blog. Seriously, you are B’ham’s Celia Rivenbark!! AND you can spell and use good grammar!! Love your responses to comments, too. You have some particularly humorous followers as well. They are nearly as entertaining as you are!!

    • 23.1
      Rachel says:

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoy it. And yes, my reader’s comments make my day – it makes it so much more fun to let other people be a part of the story!

  24. 24
    Meredith says:

    You all can’t possibly be so self involved and idiotic to believe that celebrity’s aren’t human and shouldn’t have feeling that can be hurt, right? Just because you shovel your faces at home instead of tv you feel you should be exempt from criticism. But because he’s on tv you can throw stones? Yes, hid behind your computer screen because I’m sure you’d never say it to his face.

  25. 25
    Meredith says:

    What happened to being a decent human being? You’re upset that he blocked you after YOU said something rude. You are truly backwards.

  26. 26
    Meredith says:

    And you have kids who will probably grow up to be as snide and snarky as you. Shame…

    • 26.1
      Sara says:

      Ah, the internet. When having a screen and a generic icon in between you and the other person means you can be as rude and as disrespectful as you want. Especially when you’re “defending a noble cause.” Fight on, white knight, you’re going to change the world with your angry comments.

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