You might have noticed that Alabama has won a lot of football games over the past few years.

In fact, as of last Saturday night, they will, yet again, be in the National Championship.

From what I’ve heard, there are some people, somewhere out there (cue Fievel), that do not like this development.  Some people that grow tired of Alabama playing in this game, time after time (cue Cyndi).

And that’s okay.

As a football wife, I understand “tired.”

But I’m sure that those people are none of you.

So with that in mind, I am here, with the plethora of photos I took at Alabama Games this year, to help you prepare your wardrobe for January the seventh, on which date I am confident that you will be cheering for my husband’s* beloved team.

And you won’t be in bad company – many, many new fans have joined the Tide Ranks during this new era of winning.

Hello Kitty, for one, is now an Alabama fan.

IMG_9682

Also?  God.

IMG_9685

…Because it’s not at all presumptive, disturbing, and otherwise completely sacrilegious to screenprint a HOUNDSTOOTH CROSS.

Mickey and Minnie have come around to the ways of the Elephant,

IMG_9695

As well as Taiwanese Farmers that happen to reside in Alabama.

IMG_0764

So now that we’ve established the prevalence and therefore legitimacy of your newly appointed fandom, here are some options for you.

Accessories are the building blocks of your outfit.

So let’s start with a purse.  Houndstooth flowers are the perfect way to show your blooming team spirit.  For appropriate proportions, your flower should be approximately 78% of the size of your head.

IMG_9689

This should not be hard to measure, because it is a completely foregone assumption that you will have a hat.  A Houndstooth Hat.  A Bedazzled Houndstooth Hat.

IMG_9619

Your other option is a nice crochet, also available in – you guessed it, houndstooth.

IMG_9667

And of course your children will need proper BBTTH’s**.

IMG_9683

Boots are expected.

You can go with the 2012 Standard Issue Sorority Girl Boot,

IMG_0965

But the Standard Issue changes quite frequently, and as such will only last you for one season.

(For example, note the 2010 Standard Issue Sorority Girl Boot.)

IMG_4582

So instead, I recommend that you choose something more classic.  More timeless.  More loyal to your team.

IMG_9630

If you don’t wear boots, the consequences are grave.

You will be tied down, blindfolded, gagged, and involuntarily issued a real Alabama Tattoo.

IMG_9674

So we’ve got your accessories covered.  Let’s move onto pants.

Which, as opposed to your accessories, are completely optional.

IMG_3387

IMG_9678

But if you do choose to wear pants, definitely go with something printed or embroidered.

IMG_9609

And never forget: the more rotating team symbols you can get embroidered onto your butt, the more expensive it looks.

IMG_9613

When it comes to shirts and dresses, you should always strive to match your friends.

IMG_9639

Because there’s nothing that shows team solidarity than grown women in identical clothing.

IMG_9692

It’s guaranteed to make the players play better.

Really.

Let’s move on to prints.

Houndstooth, of course, is the standard print.

IMG_9697

But your loyalty can’t be really proven unless you pair your Houndstooth with Houndstooth.

IMG_9668

If you want to be different, try Chevron (the New Houndstooth),

IMG_9665

Othello,

IMG_9640

Bucket,

IMG_0968

Or Spandex.  Because when worn tight enough, it’s absolutely a print.

IMG_9654

No outfit is complete without the proper vehicle.

One hot item is a motorized, custom-painted Alabama Tricycle.  Best when paired with a Crimson Roll-Hawk atop your head.

IMG_0894

If you don’t have enough room in your fancy Alabama car for your friends, you can always add on.

IMG_0914

And of course you can’t go wrong with classics,

IMG_0922

Slightly newer classics,

IMG_0920

classic wannabes,

IMG_0933

or motorized football helmets.

IMG_0937

Clown Cars, when painted well, will also compliment your outfit nicely.

IMG_0938

 

IMG_0939

If you have a pet, you will need to be prepared to increase your accessories budget.

IMG_0893

As well as your tattoo budget.

IMG_0897

But if all of your wardrobe intentions fail, then by all means just show up in your Snuggie and you’ll be fine.

 

IMG_0802

* My husband is not Nick Saban.  Nor is he AJ McCarron or Mal Moore or Bear Bryant.  But those facts do not get in the way of his passionate ownership of his team.

** Bows Bigger Than Their Heads.

24 thoughts on “Alabama Fashion Report: 2012.

  1. Ah, how I love this yearly fashion report! :)
    Oh, the ridiculousness we live in this state!
    Anyway, suffice to say, I am glad the Standard Issue Boot has moved on from the Uggs…at least the Sorority Uniform is *slightly* more flattering with the pretty brown leather boots, depending of course if they are paired with a pretty outfit, rather than the going-to-class Uniform of leggings and a tee/cardi combo…
    But I actually really love that girl’s chevron dress…super cute and doesn’t scream “Roll Tide” if not being worn at a football game!
    Nicely done Rach, as per usual! :)

    1. Agreed!! I am loving this year’s Riding Boot – I might have bought my own pair after studying sorority feet for a few weeks. I also love the Chevron – I think it’s a great substitution for overused houndstooth.

  2. Roll Tide! True fans through the lean years are now enjoying this season of winning. All I know is I make sure the kid is wearing an AL shirt of some kind or other on game day and the Tide keeps winning. It’s only weird if it doesn’t work. ;-p

  3. I love this yearly post! It always makes me laugh and I continue to be amazed at this level of football fan-ship! You guys sure do love your college football!

  4. First of all, you completely forgot the requisite sorority girl running shorts with the boots. Perhaps it was too cold?

    And then first of all (sorry, longstanding joke with myself!), I have that chevron dress. That EXACT chevron dress. OKay, maybe not the same exact one the girl possesses, as mine is presently in my closet — here in Maine. And I do think it looks better on me, though (as in, it actually FITS me). And in my defense, I don’t wear it with houndstooth anything. Does that get me a pass?

    (okay, okay, but I totally rocked a houndstooth scarf up here today, thankyouverymuch!)

    1. Yes, I actually love the Chevron – it’s a breath of fresh air in a Houndstooth Fog. Although most of my post was tongue-in-cheek, there were a few things amidst it all that I actually love. That way, I have complete and utter deniability. Brilliant, don’t you think?

  5. Can I tell you how excited I was when I saw Alabama made it to the Championships because I KNEW that finally, after much waiting and gnashing of teeth, I would get to see the Roll Tide Fashion Guide. Ahhh. My fall is now complete.

    1. You’re so funny. It’s been sitting in my drafts all season, but I just didn’t have the inspiration for it. I’m glad you were happy to see it!

  6. Some of that I would wear. Some of that I would pose for a picture next to it. And some of it makes me question the lens on your camera because there is no way you got close enough for a good picture without laughing and giving away why you were taking the picture. When your kids are grown and you are free to travel with Chris (after he retires) you should totally get a job with ESPN and do this for a different team each week like Todd does the Taste of the Town segment on College Gameday. =)

  7. Wow! Quite the Roll Tide fashion! Though I did love the brown riding boots. Not surprised to see Alabama in the BCS game. But no way is this girl cheering for them. Uh uh. Can’t make me. lol Well, ok if they were playing Ohio State I would give a big Roll Tide. lol Here is to hoping Notre Dame can pull out a win in the BCS. :)

  8. This post is hysterical! Love it!

    New blog reader here; hope I’m allowed to keep reading. You see, I’m from Indiana… And Catholic… =)

  9. So glad I found you on Pinterest. This may be the best thing I’ve seen. As a fan of another SEC school and having been to most, I can so no one does it quite like we do, to include football and the things wear. Thanks for sharing. Hope you have someone there tomorrow, there’s sure to be some good outfits to see

  10. Think this is bad? I urge you to spend a season in Baton Rouge. Those people are pros. And they strut it all out again during Mardi Gras season. Really, it’s year-round in LA.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *