Know Your Downton Risk Status.

{Spoiler Alert – only continue reading if you’ve finished watching Downton Abbey Season Three, which ended in America on Sunday.}

I felt it best to give you all a couple days of Downton Silence out of respect for your mourning.

Because I know – I’ve been there. Since I hacked it and watched Season Three with England, I had to deal with my grief privately, finding a quiet solace with a few other equally impatient friends.

Fortunately, Christmas Day was too busy for me to watch the last episode, but when I did watch it on the 26th of December, I empathized for all of the ruined Christmases in the UK (and was surprised that I hadn’t heard of any Class-Action Lawsuits against Julian Fellowes.)

But besides the fact that the last episode was horrible, it was, in my opinion, a very shoddy death. Could it have been more obvious and foreboding? Could they have worked any harder to throw an heir into the picture at the last minute?? How dare they rob us the joys of nine months of Lady Mary as a half-crazed, fire-breathing, hormone-fueled pregnant ogress???

Reprehensible.

For weeks after watching, I didn’t know if I even wanted to watch Season Four. I quit recommending the show to everyone I met, and was positive that I would have been happiest if I’d blissfully concluded my stint as a Downton Fangirl approximately 45 seconds before the end of that cursed Christmas “Special.”

But I’ve had a couple of months to acclimate now, and I’m feeling better.

And you will too – I promise.

But in the meantime, I thought that it was time for an updated chart.

With the bodies stacking up, we’re all a bit more jumpy these days.

Who’s next?

Is it safe to get attached to anyone?

What about me – if I were to suddenly find myself in Downton Abbey, would I meet an untimely demise?

Not to worry – I’ve made you a handy flowchart so that you can know with certainty whether to take out that extra life insurance policy or rest on your Aristocratic Laurels.

How to tell if you're at risk of dying unexpectedly in Downton Abbey.

I hope that helps.

Now go finish your mourning.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1
    Terram says:

    I watched the final episode two nights ago and I was horrified and angry. I think I’m getting over it though. This helps :)

    • 1.1
      Rachel says:

      Glad to be helpful! Hopefully you’re feeling a little better by now. I knew it was coming, so I talked through the last minute to help emotionally separate myself from the events taking place. It was just too painful to digest.

  2. 2
    Rachel says:

    Hahahaha, that’s awesome! I knew about Matthew’s death too, and it’s been so hard not to spill to my friends who didn’t know!

    I totally agree that the death scene was so hammy and staged. It wouldn’t surprise me if Julian Fellowes starts receiving death threats :)

  3. 3
    Becky says:

    I knew Matthew was a goner before I watched it, but I thought for sure it was going to be a hunting accident. Even though I wish he didn’t have to get written off, I appreciated the British was his death was handled. I feel like if an American would have made it, we would have seen Mary screaming in emotional agony and a huge fireball at the scene of the accident. Props to the Brits for that, at least.

    • 3.1
      Rachel says:

      You do make a good point. Also nice is that they’ll have probably skipped a year or more ahead by the time season 4 rolls around so that we don’t have to see the horrors of Mary’s reaction.

  4. 4
    Melanie Miller says:

    Yes, thank you for the flow chart! I shall print it out and refer to it often next season. Though when I saw the pics in the corner of all who have died, I was shocked that I had forgotten a couple of them (because I didn’t like them. I’m looking at you, Vera). So I suppose Mr. Fellows will continue to be creative in his demise of characters. It’s a very good thing when a season ends this way that the next season isn’t for another year. It gives us time to deal and focus back on reality. Dang it.

  5. 5
    Nanci Scarpulla says:

    Sometimes I think you are brilliant. Other times I think you are mega-brilliant, like British shows., mega, mega brilliant. I will print this flowchart along with the other you posted months ago as a guide, you know. :)

  6. 6
    Debbie Vigneulle says:

    All the hype, for this? Never watched Season 1 or 2, just jumped into 3 and figured out characters and plot rather easily. The only thing I love about the show, is the fashion and era. My grandmother would have been a teenager and young woman then. They just speed right through events – like we’re waiting for Mary’s wedding – but they hardly show it and we fast forward to yet more drama weeks later and then months later… Your perspective is hilarious!

  7. 7
    Kim says:

    But maybe he didn’t really die! Maybe they are going to pull a soap opera move on us and say the trickle of blood was just a surface wound???

    • 7.1
      Rachel says:

      Errr….I hope you’re right, but there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes lying going on if that’s the case, seeing as how Dan Stevens left the show. If it’s all a big publicity stunt, I might be madder.

  8. 8
    absepa says:

    Sorry to hijack the Downton discussion, but you just perfectly described the way I felt after I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It was all love, devotion, total fangirl obsession up to that point, but I simply hated Deathly Hallows and almost wished I had never started reading the series. I still haven’t recovered sufficiently to watch the last two movies.

  9. 9

    I love your chart! You are so clever. At least we still have Violet. Her one-liners are the best.

  10. 10
    Winnie says:

    Yeah, as long as they let Violet live a good long time we are good, I’ll watch the show.

    My husband who is not a fan, but occasionally sits in I quote “They sure do kill a lot of people off in that show”.

    My next hunch is they will speed up time by 20 years or so and we’ll be in WWII, Mary & Matthew’s babe will be off to war and they’ll be housing 100 evacuated children from London.

  11. 11
    MelissaH says:

    I wasn’t just disappointed that Matthew died, but it was how he died. The couple just had a baby and a parent dies that same day. Hello!! Didn’t that just happen a couple episodes before? And, yes I AM in counseling about this. :-)

  12. 12

    Such a poorly written ending for such a great show! I loved your line “don’t close your eyes in ecstasy while driving”. Ha!

    I had heard enough info to deduce that it was probably Matthew that was going to die, so I was waiting and wincing the whole show for the ax to fall.

    Boo!!!

  13. 13
    Angela in Arizona says:

    Like your original emotion – I’m so miffed I don’t even know if I want to watch anymore! Maybe time will heal. I will say I heard that Julian Fellowes begged Dan Stevens (aka Matthew) to stay for 3 more episodes so he could be written out in a more proper manner. Sadly, Dan couldn’t do it. (maybe it was his wife and 2 small children he missed?) Sigh. Still so mad and sad! gah!

  14. 14
    Haylee says:

    Deva-stated. I swear I wore a black arm band for weeks. I cried, for days….I LOVED Mary and Matthew, and like yourself, I hacked it and watched it early. I have been holding my tongue, waiting for all of America to feel my pain….. it’s just so sad.
    I’m always surprised by people who say they “knew” it was coming. HOW?? I ask, HOW?? I watched “All My Children” for almost 25 years, and yet I had no clue Matthew was near his end.
    I read an article about how Julian Fellows is already writing season four six months after Matthew’s death, and I can’t help but feel a little ripped off not getting to watch everyone on the show mourn. I can’t believe I’m not going to see Mary’s reaction, the family’s reaction…… Sigh.

  15. 15
    Tara says:

    Excellent, excellent, Rachel. Flow chart is a scream.

  16. 16
    Jane Gerst says:

    I couldn’t stop from reading ahead @ The Armchair Anglophile website. Fury finally evolved into resignation. I don’t wixh Dan Ill, but what a bitter pill to swallow I am hoping for a prequel. Who wouldn’t thrill at the chance to see Martha and Violet banter over Cora and Robert’s upcoming wedding? And how about Lady Mary being dethroned when Edith comes along? What think you?

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