My Kinda Funny But More Like Really Awkward Valentine.

“Boys and their mothers have a different relationship than girls and their mother. It’s just…special. You’ll see.”

Mommies everywhere began telling me that in their most misty-eyed, cherish-every-moment voices when we found out that we would be having a boy.

I was skeptical, because I understood girls. I “got” girls. And I was nervous about boys.

But they were right.

It is different.

Like, super different.

Like, super awkward different.

For instance, he learned at a young age how to hang onto The Girls. And then there were the oddly spicy compliments.

And now he has apparently embedded a subcutaneous chip on my person so that any and every time I go to the bathroom, he is alerted so that he can be sure to join me – you know, for some quiet bonding time away from his sister who knows better.

He can be three miles away playing at a friend’s house, but the second I plant my feet on a tile floor and sit down for a moment of alone time, he will run home and join me in the bathroom with a huge, mischievous grin on his face.

And if I try to break it to him gently and say “Noah, Mommy needs some privacy,” he will say “Okay Mommy!!” then shut the door and lean against the inside of it, still grinning.

From what I can tell, this bathroom bond can only be broken by the discovery and destruction of seven horcruxes.

And there was yesterday.

I got him up from his nap, and as is customary, he gave me a kiss.

But it wasn’t his usual kiss, which is big, sloppy, and fully-tongue-involved (despite my many lessons of CLOSING ONE’S MOUTH FOR KISSING.) No – this kiss was nearly closed-mouth with zero wetness.

I heard Heavenly Hosts singing. I marveled in his beautiful accomplishment. And as I was basking in the glory of not being saliva-covered, he interrupted the angels to say,

“Tongue one now, Mommy.”

Then licked me from chin to forehead.

Happy Valentine’s Day to me.

Awkward Valentine Mommy

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Comments

  1. 1

    Oh how funny, sweet and TRUE!!!

  2. 2
    Kristi says:

    Enjoy your boy hugs. I still give hugs to my teenage boys as they sort of LEAN my way. But when I say “Have a good day – love you” – I get grunts. Pretty sure that means they like it!! And – if I want a face-lick there’s always my cats!!!

  3. 3
    Cresta says:

    Awww! I got big, slobbery-wet baby kisses from Judah this morning. But that’s the only kind of kisses he can give at 8 months, so I love them. :) Happy Valentine’s Day!

  4. 4
    Kristy says:

    I thought I wanted a girl and when I found during the ultrasound that it was a boy, I cried. I didn’t know what I would do with a boy! The only boys I had been around was my brother and cousins and they weren’t too pleasant! I found out soon enough that boys are the best! I wouldn’t have it any other way! He’s 20 and still likes to sit on my lap and I always get lots of hugs and he was never too embarrassed to have me around.

  5. 5
    Trish says:

    Same situation at my house! My 2 1/2 year old Henry is the same way….no matter how much I try & sneak in! Too funny, I’m sure when their grown up we’ll look back & long for these times! :0)

  6. 6
    Melissa says:

    I never know what I’m going to get with my three year old – sweet normal kisses or a full-on face licking! And he doesn’t give me warning either. At least Noah informed you he was about to slobber on you. :-)

  7. 7
    Leanna says:

    I think the bathroom chip applies to Aunt’s as well or at least it does with my nephews. I stay in town 2 nights a week with my sister and it never fails I will be in the shower or bathroom and the door will slam open and one of my beloved nephews will be standing there. The 4 yr old is learinging not to but the 1 yr old hasn’t and he too grins from ear to ear.

  8. 8
    Rachel says:

    People tell me all the time how different boys are. T still really wants a boy but it makes me nervous! I don’t know how to raise boys! With big wet kisses I guess. :)

  9. 9
    Amanda says:

    Ohh I miss being young enough to get away with that. I called ‘em ‘cow kisses’. :P

  10. 10
    Eva says:

    HA! what a good little puppy. i mean boy :)

  11. 11

    Ima let you finish, but “I love you to the bathroom and back” is possibly the most on-point toddler valentine of all time.

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