On Seeking Frobriety.

It’s something I know I need to do.

For myself. For my family. For our ability to continue to function as normal human beings.

We need space between us and Frozen.

We need to admit that we are powerless over Let it Go and that our lives have become unmanageable with frozen fractals all around.

We need to realize that Frozen is a power greater than ourselves. And that is dangerous. So we need to find a power greater than Frozen. And there is only one. An act of true love – no wait.

We need to turn our will and our lives over to God for His help in fighting the curse of Do You Want to Build a Snowman being stuck on endless repeat in our heads like a Lamb Chops song on Crystal Meth.

This guy? Represents the monster that Froddiction can become.

Frozen Addiction

And it’s time we get Frober.

We started with baby steps.

When the kids would ask to listen to the soundtrack in the car, I would say….no.

It’s Mommy’s turn to pick the music.

This, of course, was met with wails of shock and terror, beggings, DTs, and inconsolable depression.

I would turn my music up louder to drown out the children in their time of suffering.

They would sing over the top, constantly cranking up their volume, shrieking with the ferocity previously only reached by Idina Menzel.

“CONCEAL, DON’T FEEL, DON’T LET THEM KNOW!!! WELL NOW THEY KNOW!!!!!!”

 

The eldest child began questioning my judgment with a desperate whimper in her tone, “But Mommy. Why would you do this to us?”

“We need a day without Frozen.”

She gasped, and sounding just like Elsa upon finding out that Arendelle was frozen over, said, “What?! I don’t remember a day without Frozen!!”

“I know, honey. I know. I need you to trust me that I know what is best for you.”

But my efforts can do little against the power of Frozaholism. Because once it has eaten its way into your children’s souls, no one can truly escape – not them, not you, not the cat.

Every night, after putting Ali to bed, we hear her belting the entire soundtrack word for word and frightfully out of tune, most assuredly standing atop her bed with her arms out and injuring her vocal cords beyond repair.

And Noah. Noah’s favorite song is the intro song, and he knows every syllable, and mutters them in perfect pitch under his breath in a continuous loop.

“na na na heya na…. ha heya ah na ah…na heya heya na ya oh ah ah na heya oh no ah na….”

While he’s eating lunch…

“na na na heya na…. ha heya ah na ah…na heya heya na ya oh ah ah na heya oh no ah na….”

While he’s sitting on the toilet…

“na na na heya na…. ha heya ah na ah…na heya heya na ya oh ah ah na heya oh no ah na….”

While he’s riding in the car…

“na na na heya na…. ha heya ah na ah…na heya heya na ya oh ah ah na heya oh no ah na….”

While he’s watching Thomas the Train at the insistence of his Father…

“na na na heya na…. ha heya ah na ah…na heya heya na ya oh ah ah na heya oh no ah na….”

While I’m trying to talk on the phone…

“NA NA NA HEYA NA…. HA HEYA AH NA AH…NA HEYA HEYA NA YA OH AH AH NA HEYA OH NO AH NA!!!!!!”

 

We will continue our journey to recovery, but one of those steps is admitting powerlessness. It’s true – I don’t know what is to become of our family.

Will we be able to find the right kind of help to free us from this gripping Froddiction?

Will we achieve a day of Frobriety?

Will my children grow up thinking that all Snowmen like warm hugs?

It’s impossible to know for certain. Because once it lives inside their soul, it’s impossible to truly detoxify. Which is why if you drive by our house on any random day, you’ll most likely see this:

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1

    At least you’re to the point of admitting there’s a problem and need help. We’re not there yet. Well, perhaps my boys are. Amy Beth and I wait until they aren’t in the car with us and sing “Let it Go” at the top of our lungs.

  2. 2
    Julie says:

    What is it about this movie? (Currently playing at my house as I type this). My four year old has decided that a random sundress is her Elsa dress and cries when I make her change out of it to leave the house (not quite sundress weather in MT…we woke up to snow yesterday). The only thing saving us from full Frodiction is that I have resisted the soundtrack so far and have a strict policy of no kids music in the car. Ever. Other than that, we are with the rest of America. Helplessly caught in the power…

  3. 3
    Becky M says:

    In the grocery store yesterday a woman walking the other way down the aisle was singing, ‘do you want to build a snowman’. Her daughter, about 12 yrs old, was groaning and asking her to stop. So perhaps only time will save us from this addiction!

  4. 4
    Dee C. says:

    I have only seen it once, but it is just so addictive. I will burst out singing the chorus all the time. I don’t dare buy it yet. On a side note, I do love how in your video Noah is following her throwing his hat around. That’s really funny.

  5. 5
    Tiffany K says:

    Ugh, us too! We bought it for my daughter as an Easter gift, but I’m taking it back. Grandma and grandpa have it, that’s good enough. She doesn’t sing the intro song though…that’d make me beat my head against a wall.

  6. 6
    Jennifer says:

    Oh goodness, this made me laugh out loud. Same here. It’s been playing on a constant loop in the car dvd player and now every time we get in the car my son, who just turned two, says, “Yet it go?”

  7. 7
    Leanna says:

    Nice lawnmower sound in the background. :-) So glad I have only boys. Youngest (10) and I saw the movie in the theater. We have let it go. :-)

  8. 8
    AnnaKate says:

    My son (8) and his friends have resorted to singing “Let it Die” in response to all of their girl classmates at school whenever they start singing Let it Go. My son and I really liked the movie when we saw it in the theater, but I’m not so sure we’ll be buying it. BTW, I have read your blog for over a month now and am enjoying reading a lot of your old entries. You are hilarious! :)

  9. 9
    Stephanie says:

    Meanwhile, the evil overlords at Disney are ecstatic, because that whole “complete world domination” thing seems to have finally kicked in with this movie. :) Everyone I know who has young kids is in pretty much the same situation you are right now.

  10. 10
    Giann says:

    Maybe we ought to look for Parental Bonuses the next time we watch it…

  11. 11
    Jenny L. says:

    We haven’t seen it and just heard a few songs from the soundtrack last week on our kids’ music station on Pandora. My kids have been asking to see it, so we will probably Redbox it sometime, although I bet I could ask to borrow it from any number of friends. But my kids have been known to break out singing “Everything is Awesome!” from the Lego movie, they saw with their Dad and Grandma.

  12. 12
    Susie says:

    I had to laugh when I saw this. I’m a teacher and just got back from spring break today. I’m sure you can guess the main topic of conversation…Frozen! One student walked in and the first thing he told me was that he had seen Frozen over break. When I gave the students a chance to share what they had done over break, many of them mentioned seeing it, or having seen it earlier (it became a bit of a competition – some saw it once, others two or three, or their families bought it).. Fortunately, they don’t feel the need to sing the songs to me. :-)

  13. 13
    Katie says:

    Ponyo, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle…..Studio Ghibli can save your soul from the out of control Disney train.

    Watch one, or 2 or 3. My personal favorite is Spirited Away, but my daughter adores Ponyo.

  14. 14
    Rachel says:

    Nice version Ali! Oh yeah, we are totally trapped in the addictive clutches Frozaholism over here. Grandma gave it to them and they ask to watch is EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Thankfully they have no idea a soundtrack exists and I am doing everything in my power to keep it that way!!! Where did you get the Elsa dress?!? We’ve been searching for one. We have Anna that ripped within 24 hours and I had to re-sew and is currently ripped in about 4 places and needs to be sewn again. Those things are really poorly made for kids who are going to wear them 24/7 and re-enact every scene of the movie in them.

    P.S. When we were in AZ for four days I couldn’t stop thinking about the girls because literally EVERYWHERE we went there would be little girls singing Frozen: at the mall, at the stores, at the airport, at the pool. Everywhere. It’s definitely sweeping the nation!

  15. 15
    Melissa says:

    My name is Melissa and I’m a Frozaholic. And that video is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

  16. 16
    Elizabeth Kohtz says:

    I love this post and video. Did you sneak into my house and film this? This is exactly what Arabella has been doing for days! I’m afraid it will never end.

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