Utter Silliness

Jealousy.

December 1, 2011

Hi, virtual people! Noah here! So I just found out that The Sister Who Calls Herself Ali guest blogged yesterday. And let me tell you – my first reaction was not happiness on her behalf. I’M the guest blogging kid around here – not her!! And besides that, I had just pitched an awesome blog [...]

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Siri and Me, Sitting in a Tree.

November 1, 2011

Chris surprised me for my birthday – I mean, completely surprised me.  I thought I had already received all of my birthday goodness, especially including a particularly awesome trip. And then he gave me a brand new shiny happy iPhone 4s. I was so confused by his extravagant gift that I didn’t even open it [...]

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So We Meet At Last.

October 9, 2011

Why hello there, Thirty. What’s that? Is that loathing I hear?? You already detest me?  But we just met! Ooooh…you’ve heard about all of the nasty things I’ve been saying about you. If you thought that was bad, you should have heard all the nasty things I’ve been thinking about you. But nevertheless, I apologize.  [...]

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Can’t Buy Me Love.

September 29, 2011

The CEO of my bank is a Tween Girl. She is sitting at the top of her skyscraper downtown in her pink bedazzled office suite, chewing Bubble Yum, flipping through her Justice catalog, painting her nails a fabulous shade of Purple Me Tender, and talking on her jewel-cased iPhone. “I know, like, right?? He is [...]

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Frequently Asked Idiocies.

September 8, 2011

After 54 hours, our power was thankfully returned to us late last  night. During those 54 hours, I had nothing better to do than repeatedly dial Alabama Power’s automated system enough to crash their server.  I also checked out their website, and in said process, I read their FAQs.  I discovered that their frequently asked [...]

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Mommy Benefits Package.

August 31, 2011

United Mommy’s Union (UMU) New Policies and Announcements August 2011 Dear UMU Members, I hope that you have all had a wonderful summer full of perfectly behaved children who spent their days idyllically reveling in their summer vacations, but are now thrilled to be back in school and studying up a frenzy.  Right? We realize [...]

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Baby v. Food

August 21, 2011

Hi! Noah Here. And welcome to Baby v. Food! I’m a food fanatic who’s only been eating for about two months, but I haven’t yet met anything I didn’t like to eat – food or otherwise. Now I’m on a mouthwatering journey to pig out as often as possible, and take on the Mommy’s most [...]

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Baby Tips, 2.0

August 17, 2011

Prequels: Baby Tips Toddler Tips Baby Tips, 2.0 You will have a lot to teach your baby over the years, so it’s never too soon to start.  Especially regarding complicated matters, such as The Facts of Life. Older siblings are also helpful in teaching Baby, but take care that you leave them in a safe, [...]

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The Atrocity – A True Story.

July 29, 2011

She was young when she committed the crime, a crime that would scar me deeply and shape who I am today. She was so young that I’m sure she didn’t realize the full breadth and consequences of her actions – no one had taught her any better, after all. Guilt subconsciously crept in and flooded [...]

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Mysteries of the Deep.

June 23, 2011

Hi! Noah here. So last weekend, The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy and that guy she hangs around all the time took me to this weird new place. And let me just say – it didn’t taste so hot. It was kind of like the big bathtub I told you about last time, but even [...]

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