Abrupt iPhone Subject Changes.

(There’s no segue between photos in my iPhone.  So why should I provide them?)

I was searching my Amazon app for Converse Sneakers for Ali.  Inexplicably nestled within the dozens of various colored shoes was this beauty:

Baby Mold 2

The first thing that struck me was the price.  $30+ for a silicone mould* of a baby?

Secondly.  Who wants to eat a baby cake?

I delved deeper into the world of moulds*, hoping to see more baby cake making moulds*.

Baby Mold

I mean, that’s just an painful position.  Who wants to eat an awkwardly sleeping baby who is probably going to wake up with a sore neck except that he’s not going to wake up because YOU ATE HIM???

My mould* journey continued.

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WHAT KIND OF CREEPER WANTS TO EAT A NAKED SLEEPING BABY CAKE???

Then I found myself in the uploaded user pictures of finished products.

My probability of nightmare was only intensified when I found myself staring at a flesh-tinted edible baby.

Baby Mould User Pic

And then in entire naked baby nursery atop cupcakes.

Baby Mould User Pic 2

And, I had to admit, that I found the most gorgeous use of an edible baby ever.

Baby Mould User Pic 3

But who can manage to eat a symbolic representation of their child, let alone on the day of their Christening?

It’s all just so confusing.

* I’m assuming the spelling of mould indicates that this is a British or Australian product.  Perhaps edible babies are more popular overseas where they carelessly add extra vowels into words?  Help me understand, people across the pond.

I don’t remember what I was searching for, but it doesn’t seem to me that “what if you ha” is specific enough to ONLY pull up bodily function results.

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Clearly, we as a world have not had enough physiology classes.

Because Katherine asked for more texts between Chris and I.

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I had to use the public restroom at the library.  A one-holer opening up onto a main library corridor.  And saw this sign on the inside of the door.

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When I send jeans back to Vault as damaged, I have to fill out a note explaining exactly what is the matter with them.

Pig

I’m sure a Razorbacks fan somewhere would have appreciated those jeans.

I’ve been on a hunt for boots this fall.  I wanted something specific, and I finally found them last week.

However, these were NOT the boots I was looking for.

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And in case they are the boots you’re looking for, you might want to know the price:

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Unfortunately, the signs of the season are everywhere.

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Even Siri knows what’s up.

Siri Is an Alabama Fan

…or at least she does for SOME teams.

Siri is Not an Auburn Fan

Clearly, she’s not an objective observer of college football.  But then again, who is?

Underthings.

Let’s talk underthings.

For instance, underthings should probably never say “woof.”

IMG_5190

(Yes – that’s a terrible picture.  But no – I didn’t want to be the person spotted taking photos in the underwear section at Belk.)

Back to not saying woof.

…Unless they’re these underthings, in which case, they’re probably saying worse things than woof.

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Siri isn’t much of a foodie.

Siri Best Restaurant in Town

This lost it’s owner at an Alabama Football Game.  It was then passed through our section for everyone to see.

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And finally, I worked up the courage to ask Siri THE important question – one that she needs to answer correctly if indeed she wants to be my Siri.

Siri Wears Mom Jeans

She’s hiding something.  I just know it.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. 1
    MamaHen says:

    I don’t know where to start. The cakes-my eyes, my eyes! I will admit I love me some Cake Boss, but I DO NOT understand these baby cakes. I can’t even begin to explain how weird they make me feel.

    Loving the sexy grammar text. So true, so true.

    Speaking of mom jeans-mom told me this morning before he left for work I could not look any more like a mom and wouldn’t Oprah be disappointed. (Long running joke between us) and after I explained that I was a mom who was going to be schooling his children, washing his clothes, cleaning his bathroom, and cooking his supper, he slunk out of the house. After telling me to go on a shopping spree to get me some new clothes! :)

  2. 2
    Karen says:

    Oh my -those baby cakes! I really didn’t think cake could ever be less than appetizing, but these are downright revolting! No, revolting doesn’t cover it, because then you could just shudder and walk away. These images (the flesh-colored, decorated ones) will now be haunting me for quite a while I’m afraid. If I were an especially cruel person I could have one served at my baby shower just to see who among the people we know would actually bring themselves to eat a piece out of politeness… but that would require cutting it up for serving. Years of therapy before those nightmares would go away, I’m sure. Good thing I’m not a cruel person. Funny how this post follows on the heels of “On Baking Toddlers”.

    So did you ever find any shoes for Ali?

    Actually, the rest of the post was also quite entertaining, as well. It’s just that reaction-wise I’m still stuck at the babies.

  3. 3
    sarah says:

    I read this post while I was nursing, and I laughed so hard that I scared the baby. He stopped eating and stared at me with a very concerned look on his face. And my three year old told me to “please calm down, because I was scaring the baby.” Thank you.

  4. 4
    Jennifer says:

    Oh my. The baby cakes. Who on earth could eat that? I saw a picture once of a cake using that naked baby mold (mould), that was not as well-made, and it looked like the baby was melting into a pile of goo.

    Also. Baby cakes. Don’t people use that as a cute nickname? Are those the type of people that would eat a cake that looks like a naked baby?

    Everything else was hilarious. I love the randomness.

  5. 5

    Okay, so the baby cake business was just too bizarre to dwell on, so moving on, I, like Sarah, am feeding a baby while I read this and started laughing pretty hard at the razorback bleach stain. Evy’s only 7 1/2 weeks, though, so she kept right on eating in blissful unawareness.

    Also, on a scale of 1 to 10, how obnoxious am I for pointing out that the sentence right before your sexy grammar text should say “between Chris and me?”

    I know, I know. An 11. : \

    • 5.1
      Rachel says:

      I know, I know!!! But it just NEVER looks right!! You have shined the light on my biggest, most glaring, most repeated grammar offense.

      Thanks a lot.

  6. 6
    Melissa says:

    Okay, 2 things:

    1. How wrong is it that the first thought that popped into my head upon seeing the naked-baby-butt-in-the-air cake mold was from the Bleedin’ Armadillo (or “Armadillah”) Groom’s Cake scene in Steel Magnolias – “That’s a nice piece of…”

    2. Six week underwear??? Where were those when I spend two weeks in Morocco with only two pairs of underwear??? Long story.

  7. 7
    Eleanorjane says:

    You *must* check out Cake Wrecks if you haven’t already come across it… :)

    http://www.cakewrecks.com/display/Search?moduleId=10924759&searchQuery=baby

  8. 8
    Kaitlin says:

    I just learnt the other day what motorboating is….and I was quite amused! Really, though, every single one of your posts makes me chuckle! I may or may not be reading through…I’m halfway ashamed to admit…all of them. In fact, I’m already back to last Christmas! You are just wayy to amusing for me to get anything done! So thank you! (And I’m one of your blog lurkers…it’s doubtful that you’ll ever hear from me again!) :)

  9. 9
    MelissaH says:

    Favorite post – ever! Still laughing…

  10. 10
    Kitty Engle says:

    1. I nearly lost the very large supper I ate with the moulds* of babies. The very idea is beyond my limited comprehenson. I believe this must be British.
    2. Being who I am I wanted those boots but my budget does not. I can not justify that for a pair of boots, even Alabama boots. I found a pair for $239.00 and would not pay.
    3. The Christmas trees are over the top. I do not like either. A Christmas tree is a tree, a tree is green or maybe white with snow. Yuk on the trees.
    4.Unfortunately for me I have been to the Auburn Supper Club.They did NOT have food. Enough said.
    5. I have got to start talking to Siri more during the day.

    No comment on under things since my better half at 59 years old still wears Sponge Bob and Superman.

    • 10.1
      Rachel says:

      I did see those boots and think of you immediately. Well, you and your entire crew – because they had LSU boots too. I could picture you ALL in matching-yet-team-appropriate shoes.

  11. 11

    Baby-shaped cakes have always bothered me; the flesh-colored ones, even more. So many questions: Wouldn’t all the shower guests feel sort of like Hannibal Lechter? Who would be man enough to eat one of the hands? Or the head? And for the love of all that is good and holy, who would eat the butt crack? WHO WOULD EAT THE BUTT CRACK?

  12. 12
    Jenna says:

    Hahaha I found this review on the mold…
    1.0 out of 5 stars DONT BUY!!!!!!!!! July 19, 2012
    By Helen
    So disappointed! the baby’s face comes out with a big flaw!!!!! even looks like Chucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so angry and disappointed, should have listen to all products reviews!
    Also, how in the world did that come up?! Converse to molds of baby?

    2. Those boots. LOL. Why? Also, you want to know what I found at Bed Bath and Beyond today? A footy… think snuggie, just for your feet. What is America coming to?

    3. Hmmm, not a Midwester (only by heart, but actually I think you are more considered the south? Correct me if I’m wrong…)

    4. Underwear… really? Who would wear that? A dog?

    5. Also, what exactly is the point of Siri? Can you please explain?[:

  13. 13
    Meridith says:

    Ok I had to check….the baby moulds are available here in Australia..they are however ‘imported directly from the US’ according to the website..thank goodness it wasnt our idea, it’s just a little too weird and icky!!

  14. 14
    Jennifer M says:

    Hilarious all the way around. I can’t even come up with something witty, because I know it will fall short of the standard you just set!

  15. 15
    Eva says:

    those cakes are completely freaky and messed up!

  16. 16
    Christy says:

    The baby cakes are just weird. But, I have to know where the Alabama trees are! We have a small solid red Alabama tree (not our main tree, it is a standard green live tree) that has Alabama ornaments on it. We add one each year and are starting to run out of room on it for more!

  17. 17
    Caitlin says:

    I’m so glad you finally found some boots! I just can’t believe you passed over those $400 gems….

    I also think Siri is grossly undereducated if she thinks Diary Queen is one of the best restaurants in town and she doesn’t know what mom jeans are. Siri fail.

  18. 18
    Lucy says:

    You. are. hilarious. thank you!

  19. 19

    You are hilarious!

  20. 20
    Karon says:

    I was gonna use “Baby Cakes” as a nick name for a future grandchild. Spoiler!

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